Tag Archives: Family

Keep going, you’ll get there.

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When my brother passed away I thought about all the times I didn’t talk to him and when I could’ve stopped to see him and didn’t.

After a couple of weeks I realized my brother wouldn’t want me to think about that.

He’d want me to think about the time we did things together. The weekend I spent at his house. Our times wrestling in the living room and how we could laugh at what an asshole I was as a teenager.

He’s been gone for a year and a half and though I’ll never get over him being gone I’ve used that year and half to motivate myself and focus on my writing.

One of the last interactions I had with my brother was on social media and it was when I was working on a project.

He told me keep going, you’ll get there.

For the last year and half those words have pushed me to work and get there.

I’m close to finishing my ninth book and I’ll be submitting queries for another next week. One book is in the hands of my writing group and I’m editing that as they go through it.

I’ve struggled to get through days thinking about him then I go back to his words.

I’ll keep going and I’ll get there.

Finding hope, and the motivation to write…

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I missed posting on Wednesday. There were issues and I had things to deal with.

Life comes at us hard when we’re not expecting it. It will punish us. Make us feel like we’re worthless and keep kicking until we can’t breath.

This punishment can be brought on by our actions, our inactions, or by not paying attention to our own thoughts.

Our own thoughts will beat us worse than 3 rounds in the octagon. It will take what we believe tear it apart and leave us asking how it happened.

Getting through that pain is the hardest thing we will do in our lives.

I’ve dealt with the loss of my brother, my father-in-law, who I felt close to, and the pain my mind inflicted on my felt worse.

Your mind will torture you, call you names, and when you think it’s done, it’s back for another helping of tossing you bullshit to doubt yourself.

That doubt will sink your dreams, your marriage, and any friendships you’ve created.

The only way through is to have a belief in your goals stronger than the bullshit in your head.

That belief will get you past the loss of anything. It will guide you in the darkest night and be the light to lead you.

This week has been one of reevaluation, digging in when I didn’t think I could go deeper, and trusting the process when I wanted to quit.

I really thought about giving up on writing this week. I hate to struggle and I feel like I’m struggling, not with writing but with life. I know it will get better but right now, staring at nearly nine unpublished books, it’s hard to be confident.

I’ll be pushing harder to get things published this summer and I’ll keep you posted but damn, I’m struggling to keep writing and it has nothing to do with the words.

I’m averaging 1500 words a day, reaching g 2700 words or more on some day.

Have to keep going.

How I’m ignoring things that disrupt my writing.

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As a writer, there are many times when I’ll be compromised by disruptions.

I’ll be working on a project, and, BAM!

New story idea, new way to adjust or improve the current project, a way to fix previous project. That’s the moment I want to scream, but don’t.

I’ll write down what the thought, idea, or whatever and get back to what I was working on.

It hasn’t always been this way.

It took me a while to ignore those things.

That pretty new thing sounds wonderful, but it will take you away from your current project and you’ll never finish a book!

I’m only 10k in on a new project and my brain has made multiple attempts on sacrificing the current project for another one.

It got to the point where I had to take a step back. Think about why my brain was doing that.

I came to the realization that there is a story I want to tell with another book, but I have pushed it away to focus on the current project. The other book is connected to the one I talked about here.

I’m trying to focus on writing something that is terrifying this year.

In other projects I didn’t do that until the second draft, but after discussing my writing with my wife(always my rock), she said I should go as dark and horrifying as possible. That’s something I’ve been afraid to do. Mostly out of fear of judgment. My wife told me, “Why care about what someone will say when they won’t read the actual book only the blurb?”

This changed my writing. I’m working on not only improving those things and the prose but shoveling those thoughts out with the trash.

I have a better grasp on my writing than I ever have before and avoiding shiny objects, not caring what people think and enjoying the whole process of writing, yes, even editing, is making me a better writer.

Anyway, have a good weekend and happy writing.

Finding your voice.

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There is always talk about voice. But there isn’t a great description of what it is.

I’ll give it to you easier.

Voice is that part of your writing that is you. That little part that sounds only like you.

Here’s how I do it.

I only have the things I’ve experienced, the life I’ve lived and I pull from those things.

We each have the moments we’ve experienced in our lives. Each of us can only think like ourselves, with those thoughts, we’re able to find our voice.

When you think about how life was growing up, when you’re thinking about what that time you ate dinner at your friends house and their family interaction was vastly different from your own, those are the types of moments you should pull from.

The awesome thing is, you can write with that type of knowledge in every genre. Everyone gets uncomfortable at their friend’s house. All of have been there at some point. Use it.

How you perceive the world around you is different from how I do or anyone else. Use that perception and build your characters with it.

While building you’ll discover a voice that is authentic to only you.

Update and all that.

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So, it’s been a couple of weeks, alright, it’s been more than a couple.

Anyway, here’s the update on the book I’ve been working on, and that I’ll be querying this summer.

It’s in its 4th draft, 4.2 to be exact. I’ve taken my wife’s notes, gone over them. Fixed consistency errors, grammar errors, and issues with the story. She also suggested things about a certain character, which I fixed.

As of this morning I’m at 60k with this draft and will be starting the third section when I write today.

In the beginning of the editing, I got stuck.

I misunderstood my wife’s suggestions.

Believing, incorrectly, that she was recommending a full rewrite. At that moment, I wanted to cry.

I didn’t want to rewrite 80,000 words.

We talked it over and I had it wrong, which was a huge relief to both of us. The worst part about it is I’ve been misunderstanding what she was asking through all of the books I’ve written. Yep, all 7 that she’s gone over.

She’s started on the one I wrote in December and should be done with it by August.

In the meantime, I’ll be querying this one over the summer.

I have an idea for the next book and I’m super-excited!

Have a happy rest of your week and happy writing.