Not feeling it

My wife and I had a conversation about my writing the other day.

I instigated it and I’m feeling better for it.

It came about like this: Me, “Hey, I know everyone expects me to write horror because I love horror movies and Halloween but I’ve struggled so much writing it that it’s not fun anymore.”

Wife, “I understand that writing horror feels difficult for you. What do you want to do instead?”

Me, “I didn’t read a horror story or novel until I was an adult but I read Tom Clancy, Dale Brown and all of the old school techno/military thriller writers growing up, and Disunion has sold better and more widely than any of my horror.”

Wife, “Did you want to focus on writing those kinds of stories?”

Me, “You know writing horror doesn’t come easy to me. Writing thrillers feels very easy. I wrote Disunion By Force in a month and I have multiple stories in that world that I’ve started and stopped.”

Wife, “Right. So did you want to stick with that?”

Me, “Yes. I get more enjoyment out of writing those stories and the topics interest me.”

Wife, “Then do that. I’ll support you regardless of what you write.”

My book, Disunion By Force, has sold copies on almost every continent except Antarctica and South America. I do think penguins would like it though. I don’t have a translated version of the book but I’ve sold it in places I never expected…Bosnia, U.K., Ireland, Norway, Germany, Austria, Australia, and various places in North America.

My horror stories have sold in mostly North America with a few other places. The North America ones I chalk up to family and friends.

I love watching horror but writing it is hard, at least for me.

I’ll be writing more like Disunion By Force and other books similar to it. You can look in the book section of this blog to purchase it.

Thanks for reading,

Brian.

Review for The Calamities by Chuck Wendig

I feel it’s best to go into a story blind, especially one by Chuck Wendig.

I’ve read a lot of Chuck’s stories, Wanderer’s is one my favorites. Last year’s Staircase In The Woods was great.

This one is something different from Chuck. It’s a little bit a vampire/demon story. A little bit of Hellraiser.

What starts as an abduction of the main character turns into something else entirely.

It’s been a long time since a writer surprised me with the depths they’ll go to write something truly messed up. This book is one of the darkest and most unsettling of Chuck Wendig’s books, at least for me it was.

There’s something to be said about the way Wendig’s written lately.

I’m not sure whether he’s dealing with some internal conflict, but this book has a lot of that. There were so many instances where I’m thinking, “He cant’ possibly do what I think he’d going to do.” Then he does it. It feels a bit like Clive Barker the way he pushes things in this novel.

I found myself looking forward to when my wife can read it. I want to talk about this book with someone.

It’s dark, brutal, filled with gore, blood, and pieces of flesh dangle from every corner of it.

I found myself thinking about it while I was supposed to be working, when I was talking to my wife, and when I was listening to an unrelated book on audio while I worked.

It’s definitely pushed some limits on what Wendig is capable of doing and maybe that’s the point. He’s pushed the limits of what he’d comfortable writing over the last few novels.

He’s taken things throughout the last several novels that I feel are different from what I’ve expected from him.

Moments in this book, as well as Staircase, had me wondering if he’ll proceed into darker territory and I am here for it.

His writing has always been good, but the descriptions of the depravity and then there’s the room, you’ll know what I’m talking about when you get there, but it’s better to not talk about it. Discover it when you’re reading it.

I love that Wendig is going darker and more unsettling. He’s definitely one of my go-to authors.

Hello, is this thing on?

Greetings and salutations.

I have been a way from this blog for a while. I’ve been working and trying to get my head on straight, or as straight as it will go.

I’ve taken time away to work on me. My writing has been put on the back burner for the last almost year, something like that.

I found myself not wanting to write and I know it comes from the way I feel about my writing and some of the community I’ve interacted with.

It’s nothing new to see that someone had a bad experience with their writing community. Mine has not been to the extremes of others but I’m also not a fan of many in my sphere of writing.

I’m getting back into writing horror.

I saw a post about an open call for something and while I’m hoping to be in the cool, “I’m published by a big name” club. I’m at the point in my writing where I honestly don’t care anymore. I’m writing for me, and maybe that’s why I’m feeling that way I do about the writing community.

My wife told me to write what I want and it’s not about whether I publish it or not.

To be honest, I wanted to be published to help my wife out with the bills, but my new job does that. Writing is what I’ll do, regardless of genre, although my thriller book, Disunion By Force has outsold my horror by a large degree and it sells everywhere.

I think about the time I may have lost by not writing and I’m indifferent.

I turned 50 recently and I will write whatever the hell I want. If I publish it myself, cool, if I submit it and it gets published cool, but I’m not going to play the game of asking for help or putting my name in a hot and hope I’m selected for a scholarship or some sort of honorific.

I’m past the point of caring with all of that. I’ll write for me and that’s more important than anything.

A change of thought, not mind

My wife and I talked about my writing last night.

In my last post I suggested I was considering stopping altogether. It’s something that’s been on my mind for the last six months. She didn’t so much talk me off the cliff as put it into perspective about where I was ten years ago when we moved from Las Vegas to where we’re at now in Utah. And more importantly where I’m at and where my writing is.

We moved almost eleven years ago from a good paying job for me and my wife merely changed addresses. She’s been remote since our youngest was two and is now 16.

She said, “You used to just write and enjoy it. You didn’t care what you were writing or for who and I think that’s what you should get back to doing.”

I got it it my head that I should publish and chase all of those who have been published. Those are people I won’t mention because they don’t need the attention, but I look up to and have for a long time.

Ten years ago I didn’t know about any of the writing associations and I just wrote. I’ve written fifteen novels and they’re still on my hard drive, well all but one, Disunion By Force, which still sells decently, at least for me. It sells in the oddest of places. I sold one in Switzerland last month, digital and physical editions.

I’ve been writing to get published. I haven’t been writing because I like writing.

I’d like to make enough to help my wife out, but with my new job I don’t feel that as much.

I make enough that we’re stable and doing okay.

I’ll continue to keep my social medias deactivated. I’m not sure I’ll ever submit something again. It feels like too much and I’d rather just write stories for the sake of the story.

If I do publish something, this is the only place you’ll hear about it.

I hope all of you who read this have a pleasant week.

B

Break

I’m not sure how long I’ll be doing this but I’m taking a break from posting anywhere. I’ve deactivated all of socials, deleted my substack, and the only reason I haven’t deleted this is because I’ve had it for a very long time.

I need to take time for me and all this and all of my writing isn’t going anywhere and I may not publish anything else.

I’m burned out and tired of trying to get my foot in the door only to have it crushed with the weight of what I’m attempting.