I have this story, I believe I mentioned it on Wednesday. I haven’t written a novel-length story in a while. It’s freaking me out to have a story developing in my head this quickly. It usually takes a while, or at least until I’ve started for the story to lead me to places. This story hasn’t done that. It’s making me reevaluate how I write.
I’ve always written horror as a pantser. Well, mostly a pantser. I may write down scenes or sections that I know are coming later. This story is coming to me all at once. I’ve taken notes in my head. I know they haven’t gone anywhere. They’re there as I write this. I know the start, and parts of the middle, but it’s the other parts. The parts that are fully formed that I’m tripping over. I mean tripping as one does on LSD. It’s freaking me out.
I have moments of this story in my head. They won’t be quiet and I’ve lost sleep the last couple of nights over it. I wanted to do an outline for this one. I had intended to do that. As I write these words, this story is pushing me to get it down. I feel how I felt three years ago when I wrote Disunion, in which I wrote all 100k in a little over a month.
This story feels like that. I will probably start on it Monday. It’s taken me a week to get to this point. I know where the story goes it’s about getting to the end now.
I hope you’ll follow my blog. I feel better about it now. I feel better now.
Today started with my watch getting me up at 5:30 to get my meditation, which led to me getting my workout before I took my youngest and their friend to school. It actually started last night during my afternoon meditation.
I had a story idea and the images of it came quickly. I’ve thought about nothing else since. The visuals of the images. How my mind made connections and the thoughts of the freaky shit kept me from sleeping decent.
It’s been a while since I was able to see a story as clearly as this one. I will be taking my time with it. I have a lot of stories to submit on Submission Grinder and I’ll be doing that. The collection I planned to release this year will be cannibalized into story submissions. It’s the best use of those stories.
On another note, I haven’t had much work in the way of bartending lately. This sucks but I’ll be writing my ass off. Have a pleasant Wednesday.
I’ve had a lot of thoughts this week. All of them about my writing and which direction it’s headed.
As I said in a previous post, I’ll only be writing horror for publication from now on. Anything not horror will be for me. I have a list of places I’ll be submitting short stories and the novellas I’ve written. Those will be going out in the next few months.
I can’t not write. I’ve created stories since I was a little kid. It’s as much a part of me as anything else. I will narrow my focus on horror.
I love to watch and read horror and while I enjoyed writing books like Disunion, those will be trunk books or books that will never see the light of day.
I hope you’ll continue to follow me on here as well as Substack. I also recently pulled Disunion and my collection. I’m figuring out what to do with the collection. Disunion and Jax Reed are going to be done. While I love the world I created with him and Griggs and the research I did was a lot of fun, I feel those stories are not what was expected of me.
I’m going back to horror unless something pulls me another way. I don’t see that happening. Disunion’s reception hurt and it’s the main reason those stories are shelved.
I’m sitting in my favorite reading chair, staring at bits from Twitter, and waiting for my mind to adjust from the pills I can’t take anymore.
It’s not the writing. It’s the constant nightmares. Every night, more than a couple of times I’ll wake up breathless. I don’t remember them or I’d write them down. I only know I’m scared. I’m tired of being scared.
I pulled my collection from Amazon yesterday. I’m working on getting Disunion off of Ingramspark, and I’m reevaluating where to go from here.
Today, as I read, log into World of Warcraft, and figure out the next steps I’ll keep you updated here as well as on my Substack.
Know that I’ll continue to write though I may go absent for a while on social media but this is where you can find me.