I’ve dealt with my stomach issues over the last few months, but that’s not what this post is about.
After I had my initial visit with my doctor, I asked to be put on anti-depressant/anxiety medication. If you’ve read this blog for a while you understand my reasons for that; now I’ve run into a problem.
I started taking the medicine in November and I haven’t written a word since. I don’t feel like writing, reading, or watching anything with my wife. A malaise settled in over my life. One that I’m not comfortable with. Writing and books are where I get the most enjoyment. They’ve always been my safe space. Not writing feels worse than depression.
I’m not cured of depression. That doesn’t happen. I understand that the medicine takes away the depression and the lows in causes. It’s also taking away my desire to work. I get to my desk every morning and stare at a blank screen. I may write something but I delete it later because I’m not interested in what I’ve put down.
I usually start exercising to help with my depression issues. I don’t want to do that either.
I’m going off the medication to see if that fixes this. I can’t live without writing. It’s causing me more mental issues than it’s solving.
I had wanted to publish this year. I don’t desire that either. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t posted here.
Anyway, I’ll let you know how it goes.