Category Archives: Writing

Six Things I’ve Done to Create my Dream Reality.

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We venture in to the world, our hearts full of dreams, our minds full of doubts, but there’s always that one dream.

The one we have that pushes us to go farther, try harder and not accept anything other than the dream as our reality.

These dreams make us question who we are, what we truly want out of our lives, whether we want to continue on our current path and the decisions we must make to create the dream as our reality.

One year ago I began searching for who I was and discovered him in the dreams I was having, and continue to have.

He was stronger, more disciplined, more loving of his family, helped people in need and he was a writer.

There are things I’ve done in the last year to be that person.

  1. I spend more time with my family than I ever have.
  2. I started keeping track of things I’ve done during the day to make myself and those around me better people.
  3. I made a list of where I wanted to be in 10 years and started working towards it.
  4. I realized how much I truly loved my wife and began to prove to her I’d changed.
  5. I knew what I wanted to write and started creating the world for my characters.
  6. I stopped listening to the haters and began listening to like-minded people who wanted to change their world and help others.

Each of these 6 things have changed the way I think about who I am, what I do with my life on a daily basis, but that dream I had, well…it’s one of those you wake up from stare at the world around us and know that you can change things.

Change brings about angst and fear, but by meeting fear head on we’re able to create the world we want for ourselves our partners and those around us.

Transcendental Meditation, E-Books and Keep Moving Forward

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A few months ago I took a break from writing DoI (Delusions Of Ink). I wanted to write other things, plan things for the next few years and spend more time with my family.

Each of those things have happened, but I felt a longing, that something was missing.

I started a new blog, one that is different from DoI, and I’ve enjoyed it, but I miss feeling like I’m helping people. Which is why this post is important.

Over the next few months, I’ll be working on a new e-book, that will incorporate all the things I’ve discussed on DoI.

The book will be focused on TM, and though things have changed with me, my wife brought it to my attention that Transcendental Meditation is the one thing about who I am that I’ve chosen.

TM brought me out of a deep depression and showed me the person I was (he wasn’t as nice as I thought) and taught me that who I am to myself is more important than who I am to others, which was a major breakthrough for me.

I found that when I wrote DoI and readers connected with me outside the blog, either through Facebook, or e-mail, I felt something I’d never felt, humbleness.

I realized that what I wrote was reaching people who needed help, and this was more important to me, but it also became a distraction. I wanted every post to do that, and when they didn’t I was upset and a little depressed.

Then I took my break, wrote other thing, created other things and found that it doesn’t matter what I write, it matters what people feel and how if I can help them.

That’s when I thought about creating the e-book.

I’ll post more information soon, but I will be trying to post more on DoI.

I hope you’ll come along with me and I hope I can help.

Bri

Breaking the Limits Of Who We Are.

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We inspire, create and live by a set of limits placed upon us by those around us.

These limits define who we are, what we do and how we live.

When we get past these limits and realize we were taught wrong, it disrupts the life we had and can send us over the edge.

The most curious thing about TM is discovering things about myself I’ve believed since I was child. Things I was told by parents, teachers and school guidance counselors have turned out to be false.

I was told I couldn’t do something based on my grades, where I grew up or what I believed.

A few weeks after beginning TM, I had a revelation about my life and the limits I’d been taught.

This made me think about who I was and afterward I knew I’d discovered who I was and what I wanted out of life and it had nothing to do with the beliefs of those I’d been surrounded with as a youth.

I saw in those early weeks of TM my future self and where I wanted my life to go.

Our life is set by the limits of what we’re told, what we’re taught, but when we discover the falsehood of those limits and begin to understand there are no limits, it sets us free and helps us discover a part of ourselves we never believed could exist.

This part knows no limits, it accepts nothing but the absence of limits and when we choose to follow it, we’ll understand limits are placed to protect us from failure, but the greatest gift is to fail.

It’s only in failure we truly learn the mistakes we’d made and with learning we see the reason behind the failure and change things to never make the same mistake again.

Our life is short, but living without the limits placed upon us is the way to truly understand ourselves and our life’s failures.

When I saw the limits placed upon me, I knew something had to change and I’m beginning the changes.

The first was last week. By moving the blog to once a week I’m able to focus my energy to other things and break the limits of trying to complete two posts and maintain my other responsibilities.

In the next few weeks there will be minor things changed, but they will be negligible.

For next week I plan on having my wife—who’s been doing TM for a couple weeks already—write a post on the blog.

I’ll be doing other things with other types of media and will keep things going on the blog, but the posts will stay at once a week.

2014: Transcendental Meditation and Healing my Soul

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We talk about life-changing moments, but until they happen we’re not truly sure until after the fact.

This past year I said goodbye to my wonderful dog Abbey, held my wife the morning her father died and discovered who I am.

Abbey was with me through my migraine sessions, always laying next to me until they subsided. My father-in-law was one of the most creative, imaginative and caring men I’ve ever met.

Both of these changed who I am, but it was the 20 minutes I took twice a day which healed my soul and saved me from suicide and depression.

My life up until this year felt as though it were a series of mishaps leading me toward the end of my life. By the end of 2013 I felt I’d lived my last full year and would not live through another year.

When I walked in to the TM center in Las Vegas, I discovered that there were others who had dealt with depression, addiction, and stress in the same ways I had.

They’d taken the pills the doctor prescribed, they’d had their share of being “on the wagon.” None of them felt better until they’d tried TM.

Now, I’m the one touting its effectiveness and leading others to learn the technique.

In the next few weeks my wife will be learning the technique. She’s had her father pass away, dealt with depression and bi-polar disorder. But I know TM will work for her. In the next year there will be a few changes on the blog to reflect my involvement with TM and I hope you’ll talk to a teacher or read David Lynch’s book.

2014 and Transcendental Meditation changed my soul. It made me want to live for myself. It made me want to be a better father, husband, son and human. I care more about the lives around me, though they may not know I’m there, I want them to be at peace with who they are, where they’ve been and the life they have.

TM put my soul to rest about my childhood, my parents divorce and the problems I’d had with my father. I love him, and always will, but I know that we’re different people than we were before and there’s a separation between us that will never be healed. I hope he has a good life, enjoys himself and finds TM and begins to learn.

We’re all going through life learning about who we are, but I feel TM makes us understand who we are and embrace that person and not care about the rest.

Happy New Year and I hope you have peaceful 2015.

Brian

 

Deniability, Transcendental Meditation and Discovering Yourself.

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It fell from the truck, rolling, flipping and resting on the edge of the water. It lay there against the shore, the water pushing it lightly against the bank until the rush of new water pushed it into the stream.

It floated down the river, its shape changed mildly by the water until it drifted below the surface.

Walking through life, we get caught in the pull of things which aren’t under our control and they push us and pull us against other forces until we see the pull of one thing as our life’s purpose.

I always believed I should write, but I never knew I’d write something which people would read the way Delusions of Ink has.

I fell from the highest I’d been. A new child, a great wife, but I wasn’t the person I believed myself to be. I was only pretending to be that person. My facade was I was great husband and father, though I’ve learned that I was much harsher than I should have been.

When we discover we’re not the person we’ve been telling ourselves we slip from the bank of life, slide into the roaring river and float until we’ve become waterlogged and slip under the rising tide.

When I slipped under I didn’t know how to get to the surface. I was afraid of becoming someone other than I believed myself to be and I felt that changing who I was wasn’t the problem, everyone else should change to accommodate me.

When I began TM, I wasn’t aware yet. I wasn’t functioning the way I am today.

I was depressed, suicidal and I wanted my wife and kids to be happy. I felt they weren’t happy with me and suicide would fix that. I believed they’d be better without me.

Nearly a year after I wanted to end my life, I’m reaching people through the blog and through what I write. I’ve had confirmation of this and to have someone say you’d helped them is the greatest gift I could receive this holiday season.

The holidays are when suicides spike. So, when you see someone who doesn’t seem like themselves, please ask them if their okay.

If you have a friend who’s recently divorced, broken up with partner or someone who has no one, invite them to your party, they’ll be grateful and you may save a life.

If you’re having trouble this holiday please call the suicide hotline – 1(800) 273-8255

Have a safe Holiday season and Happy New Year.

Brian