Tag Archives: writing life

The moment you realize it, work harder.

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There’s a moment where you have to look at your goals and realize, I’m not working hard enough.

This came to me the other day as I was submitting queries.

I’ve written 10 novels and only submitted two of them, getting no’s on both, so far.

One is still out with three agents.

But I don’t believe I’ve put enough effort or focus on this. I’m not going to publish this year. That’s my fault for not working hard enough.

I own that.

I will next year. I’m going to put things aside, though as I’ve learned, this blog won’t be one of them.

Some things, like my wife and kids are important. But others, some events and people will not be included in that.

I’ve spent too much time doing bullshit things.

I need to work harder.

This blog will be my place to vent, so here’s my heads up on that.

Feeling the pressure…

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It comes at the oddest times and I’m not sure how to deal with it when it does.

The failure mindset.

Maybe because I’m not published that it comes harder.

I’ve submitted novels to 18 agents. 13 said no to one of them. Another said no to a different submission and one wasn’t accepting unsolicited manuscripts.

The others are out currently.

That’s 3 agents with one of my books.

I’m at the point where I could use a win. I guess we all get that way at some point. It’s happened to me a couple of times.

But right now, where things are in life at 43, a win would be good for my head and heart.

I’ll keep writing because I’m better at it than I am anything else but a win or even an agent to ask for a full would be great.

Anyway, have a great rest of your week. I’ll be over here with fingers crossed and hope in my heart.

Write for yourself first.

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In Stephen King’s book “On Writing”, he talks about his first reader.

For him it’s his wife Tabitha. I understand why and for him this works.

For the longest time I wrote with someone in mind. Someone I thought would like the book, understand it, and it would scare them.

To go along with my most recent posts, that’s changed.

I feel there is only one person I should write a story for. Myself.

I am the first reader of the story after all and while I may put things in it for certain people. I’ve become aware that some people won’t read what I write anyway so why would I write a story for them?

I put things in on the off chance they would but I’m no longer under delusion the will.

It comes to what terrifies me. What makes me think, “Damn, we skipped some levels.”

Those levels are the places I used to write from.

Living in fear of being judged of the things in my mind. The things I better not put in stories because someone will think there’s something wrong with me.

I no longer live in those levels, neither do my stories.

I have more to submit this week, as I said in other posts.

This week will be one with my wife and kids and it’s snowing as I put these words on the page.

Have a pleasant Thanksgiving and I may put another post up later in the week.

Writing, focus, breaks, and closing up shop.

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In the past week I’ve realized I’m not working hard enough. I haven’t put enough effort into my writing, my editing, and that it’s time to do that.

I have 2 novels, a few short stories and other things that need to be done, and soon.

Somewhere I lost my focus. I’m not sure where it went but I have a plan to get it back.

It’s been involved in other things. It’s kept me from doing what I need to.

So here’s what’s going to happen.

I’m taking a break from the blog. It’s difficult decision since I’ve gained almost 200 blog followers since last March.

I appreciate every one of you. But it’s time for me to get shit done.

I will return in June 2020.

I hate to do this. I’ve found that I need to do what’s best for me and my family.

I’m also disabling my Instagram.

It’s a full stop on social media.

I realized that I’ve been caring too much about what others think about my work and that’s coming to a stop.

Critics don’t scare me anymore, not getting published does.

If I don’t see you…

Continuing, finding me, and the path to where I need to be.

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I find writing more enjoyable when there are other things going on in my head. Let’s take yesterday as an example.

I bartended last night, had writing to finish or continue(not sure which it is day-to-day)and I discovered that I got better, more focused work.

This comes as I’m trying to find a story for compilation I’m submitting to.

I’ve written two and started a third. It doesn’t need to be ready to go until the end of January, but I’m trying to find a story that fits and the best way for me is to write a few until something clicks.

That click hasn’t happened, though I’ve written two short stories, very short. One is under 1,000 the other is just over. I’m trying to get one that’s about 5-6k then I can clean it up in editing.

I’ll keep going, keep on the path and find where I need to be in my writing and life. I’ve found a few things that are working and others that aren’t. It’s all trial and error. But I’ll get there.

Have a good weekend.