Tag Archives: motivation

Realizations and Breakthroughs.

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This past weekend I went to a birthday party for my nephews little girl.

I got to see my sister and my dad.

This weekend I also went to see my brother. He passed away a year and a half ago from an aneurysm.

It was the first time I’d been to his grave since the headstone was placed.

We live four hours away from his grave. I wanted to put it off as long as I could.

While I knelt at his grave, talking to him about things that are going on I thought about all that has happened since he passed.

I queried a book, written four others and I’ll be querying a new book this summer. If it’s not accepted, I’ll publish it anyway.

The realization came after I left his grave, wiped away the tears, and kissed my wife.

I’ve done so much since he passed but not as much as I’ve wanted to. I’ve slacked on a few things, quit on others.

Then there was the breakthrough:

Late Saturday night, while I was laying in bed, trying to sleep. I thought about what I’ve written since he passed.

There are a lot of short horror stories. And a couple of horror themed novels. But if I enjoy the writing and finish the story it has a horror element.

Whether it’s a sci-fi story about shadows on a deserted planet or dark fantasy; it always has those horror elements that I love.

I used to fight those elements. I wanted to write things that people would talk about.

Then I thought of all the horror books I’ve read that stuck with me. Then came the thoughts of the movies that always stuck with me. They’ve always been horror.

I fought for a long time to not have fantastical elements in my writing but I guess they always popped up for a reason.

Anyway, enjoy your week and happy writing.

Sick, depression, and lack of focus.

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The story I’d been writing took a turn and I no longer feel I can finish it.

It may have to do with the cold I’ve been fighting for the last week.

It may also have to do with a bit of depression I’ve been dealing with because of not being able to write this story.

It took a turn sometime last week in a direction I don’t like and I thought I’d let it go, however, since then it’s become a boondoggle.

The boondoggle was exasperated when I started watching A Discovery of Witches this past week. It’s too much like my story and may toss it in the bin because of that.

Anyway, happy writing.

What fiction is to me.

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The thought of what fiction is to me and what it means to me has been on my mind this week.

It’s the little spaces in between paragraphs when I’m considering what to write next. The moments when I write something well and amaze my self.

Most of all it’s freedom.

Freedom from distractions. Freedom to find purpose in the lives of the characters I create and the ability to try and scare them.

I used to write to impress people. I thought it would but most people don’t care.

When I write it’s to scare myself and maybe my wife. She’s my first reader and if I can scare both of us, I feel accomplished.

I gave up writing for others. There’s no satisfaction in it. There’s no reward in it. They won’t come to you frightened. Most of them won’t read what you write anyway so what’s the use.

Fiction to me is being myself. Finding purpose within the words and trying to make something memorable.

I may not be published but writing for myself is rewarding as hell.

I’m tired of being unpublished.

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I’ve reached a point where I’m tired of being unpublished.

I’ve written eight books and haven’t published a single one.

There are many reasons for this. But they boil down to not editing and not giving as much time to editing as I do to the first draft.

This caused me, at times, to hate writing.

After trying to edit one book, I got tired of it and wrote a couple more short stories as well as a novella.

So with every screw up a plan is born.

This plan will allow me to write something new as well as edit. I tried editing at night. It took away from time with my wife.

I love time with my wife. Sure, most nights were sitting across the room from each other reading. In Las Vegas I was lucky to get that.

I have two novels I’ll be editing for the year. I want to make sure they’re as perfect as possible.

Last summer 13 agents said no to one of my books. After having my writing group go over it, they noticed glaring issues only a different set of eyes can give a story.

I’ll be giving my writing group one of these. The other I’ll post in various places.

I will publish this year.

Happy writing!

Writing is like using a big flashlight.

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Finding your way through a story is like having a big flashlight with a little beam. You’re hoping to find something, but the small beam doesn’t allow you to search a wide area. So you’re stuck searching with this big flashlight. Hoping you see what you need but know you might not.

I started work on a new project. I mentioned it last week, and it was fun, but there were times I felt the flashlight wasn’t in my hands.

It’s frustrating, and I kept thinking I should move on to another story. But I loved the fear it created in my mind as I wrote, which kept me going.

I wanted to know what happened to the characters. I worried about them. And although some writers say writing is like playing God, to me it’s more like being a harbinger of Fate.

One thing leads to another. I worry about whether the characters will live or die, but as a pantser I don’t have that control, the story does.

I’ve written all different ways, but discovery, or pantsing, works best for the way my brain works.

Not sure why it’s that way, but it is.

Anyway, I finished it yesterday. It was over 5k but needed a different pace than the 86k fantasy novel I finished in December.

Either way, I finished another story.

But I hope you’re having a good day and meeting your writing goals.