Transcendental Meditation, E-Books and Keep Moving Forward

A few months ago I took a break from writing DoI (Delusions OInk). I wanted to write other things, plan things for the next few years and spend more time with my family.

Each of those things have happened, but I felt a longing, that something was missing.

I started a new blog, one that is different from DoI, and I’ve enjoyed it, but I miss feeling like I’m helping people. Which is why this post is important.

Over the next few months, I’ll be working on a new e-book, that will incorporate all the things I’ve discussed on DoI.

The book will be focused on TM, and though things have changed with me, my wife brought it to my attention that Transcendental Meditation is the one thing about who I am that I’ve chosen.

TM brought me out of a deep depression and showed me the person I was (he wasn’t as nice as I thought) and taught me that who I am to myself is more important than who I am to others, which was a major breakthrough for me.

I found that when I wrote DoI and readers connected with me outside the blog, either through Facebook, or e-mail, I felt something I’d never felt, humbleness.

I realized that what I wrote was reaching people who needed help, and this was more important to me, but it also became a distraction. I wanted every post to do that, and when they didn’t I was upset and a little depressed.

Then I took my break, wrote other thing, created other things and found that it doesn’t matter what I write, it matters what people feel and how if I can help them.

That’s when I thought about creating the e-book.

I’ll post more information soon, but I will be trying to post more on DoI.

I hope you’ll come along with me and I hope I can help.

Bri

A Work In Progress

This is a guest post from my wife. She’s been practicing TM for three and a half weeks.

The Phoenix

When people make changes in their lives they often point to a breaking point, a specific incident that made them decide to make a change. For me, however, learning Transcendental Meditation (TM) is not about experiencing a breaking point, but about realizing I could no longer accept the person I had become.

Although I experienced some depression when I was younger, I was always able to overcome those feelings.

As an adult, I’ve had a difficult time doing this, and have been on and off various medications for the past six or seven years. I came to accept that not much made me happy even though I have a wonderful husband, who tells me how he feels more often than I probably hear, and two kids who love to play and laugh. Even painting and drawing that I used to love, would sit untouched for months because I didn’t find joy and satisfaction in it.

Over the past year, I’ve seen what TM has done for my husband, but kept telling myself that there was no way it would help me. After all, everything else I’ve tried has only been a short-term band-aid.

I have been doing TM for three and a half weeks, and can say I am starting to notice how 20 minutes twice a day can change how you view yourself, your relationships with others, and the world around you. Although I still take my medication, TM is helping me in ways a pill has.

I’ve been able to enjoy the time I have with my family. I don’t find myself getting as angry, or annoyed when my kids do something they should not do. I’m able to find the humor in things I previously ignored. Best of all, I feel better about myself, and who I am, than I have most of my adult life.

Everything is a work in progress, but with TM my hopes and expectations for the future are positive for the first time.

Why Some People Didn’t Like How Transcendental Meditation Changed Me.

Life runs through the woods, often being chased by wolves. We stand still, waiting for life to pass through the woods, outrun the wolves and tear into a clearing of pure light.

Life reminds us often that no matter what we change, there will always be those who don’t like change. These people are comfortable with who we are, they know how we’ll react in certain instances and when we do change they try to talk us out of change.

“You’re not really leaving.”

“You don’t need to quit—enter substance—it helps.”

They do these things out of comfort. It’s not truly anything against the person you’ve become.

It’s the instance of who you are now and the fact they were comfortable with the person you were. They knew that person, or thought they did.

When I began TM 10 months ago, it wasn’t the people who accepted me for the changes that surprised me, it was the people who’d make comments about, “something wrong with you” or “what are you taking?”

Each small fraction of these comments started to make me think about who these people are and how I should deal with the fact they weren’t liking the person I’d become.

There are always going to be people who don’t like who you are, that’s a fact of life. But, the people who noticed you when you were the other person, really noticed you, those are the ones who will be supportive of any changes you go through. Those people don’t care as long as you’re happy in your own skin.

There is truly nothing you can do about the other people. They liked the other person because of what you brought to the table. All the things that create a relationship.

What those people didn’t understand about you then, is that you didn’t like who you were and they never saw that part of you.

The people you let in, the ones you talk to daily, the people you’d do anything for, those are the people who love you regardless, the other people want you to be the same.

Change scares people. It makes them uncomfortable and when we find discomfort in things, we begin to hate them.

Change in yourself is what’s important, that change that makes you wake up, get out of bed, meditate, exercise and become who you want to be. That change is the important part of who you are and who you’ll become after those other people are still in their same lives, doing the same things.

Those who crave change, who need to become something else, we are the ones who do things that make life better for others.

I never understood that last part until I started receiving messages about how my posts about TM have helped people and how what I wrote led people to learn the Transcendental Meditation Technique.

If I can help one person with every post about TM and what led me to practice it, I believe I’m helping the world be a better place.

Remember, no one can cause you pain without your permission. Never give them the permission. It’s your life, run it!

Brian

Finding Focus after Depression

When I sat in my car, tears pouring through the crevices between my fingers, I realized how bad my depression had become and I had to climb out.
After I began TM, I discovered who I am and began to make life better for myself, my wife and kids.
This happened gradually, through communication with my wife, listening to my kids and learning to listen to my soul.
There were times when I began TM I’d say something, my wife would look at me her eyes glistening with tears and it was in those moments I started to understand how detached my wife and I had become.
Now when my wife and I have a disagreement, there’s less yelling and more reconciliation.
Now, it’s been 10 months since my first transcendental meditation session and I’ve discovered the person I was before TM wasn’t very nice to those around him.
I’ve tried to repair the relationship with my wife and kids, and we’re doing better than ever.
I’m glad they have me as I am now.
My son will remember the other person, as will my wife.
My hope is others will accept the changes and other relationships will be repaired.
Depression took my away from my family, Transcendental Meditation brought me home.

Brian

Deniability, Transcendental Meditation and Discovering Yourself.

It fell from the truck, rolling, flipping and resting on the edge of the water. It lay there against the shore, the water pushing it lightly against the bank until the rush of new water pushed it into the stream.

It floated down the river, its shape changed mildly by the water until it drifted below the surface.

Walking through life, we get caught in the pull of things which aren’t under our control and they push us and pull us against other forces until we see the pull of one thing as our life’s purpose.

I always believed I should write, but I never knew I’d write something which people would read the way Delusions of Ink has.

I fell from the highest I’d been. A new child, a great wife, but I wasn’t the person I believed myself to be. I was only pretending to be that person. My facade was I was great husband and father, though I’ve learned that I was much harsher than I should have been.

When we discover we’re not the person we’ve been telling ourselves we slip from the bank of life, slide into the roaring river and float until we’ve become waterlogged and slip under the rising tide.

When I slipped under I didn’t know how to get to the surface. I was afraid of becoming someone other than I believed myself to be and I felt that changing who I was wasn’t the problem, everyone else should change to accommodate me.

When I began TM, I wasn’t aware yet. I wasn’t functioning the way I am today.

I was depressed, suicidal and I wanted my wife and kids to be happy. I felt they weren’t happy with me and suicide would fix that. I believed they’d be better without me.

Nearly a year after I wanted to end my life, I’m reaching people through the blog and through what I write. I’ve had confirmation of this and to have someone say you’d helped them is the greatest gift I could receive this holiday season.

The holidays are when suicides spike. So, when you see someone who doesn’t seem like themselves, please ask them if their okay.

If you have a friend who’s recently divorced, broken up with partner or someone who has no one, invite them to your party, they’ll be grateful and you may save a life.

If you’re having trouble this holiday please call the suicide hotline – 1(800) 273-8255

Have a safe Holiday season and Happy New Year.

Brian