Tag Archives: Family

Editing break

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I’ve been thinking about taking a break for a while.

Now that I’m staring at a self-imposed deadline for the current novel, I realized in order to get it where it needs to be, I have to focus on one thing.

This will be my last post for a while.

I plan on taking at least two months to get the novel where I want it, though it may take longer.

If something amazing happens, I’ll drop in, but after this post, I’ll be working to finish the horror novel I wrote in August.

I hope you all have a pleasant and productive spring and early summer and hopefully I’ll see you in the summer.

Realizations and Breakthroughs.

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This past weekend I went to a birthday party for my nephews little girl.

I got to see my sister and my dad.

This weekend I also went to see my brother. He passed away a year and a half ago from an aneurysm.

It was the first time I’d been to his grave since the headstone was placed.

We live four hours away from his grave. I wanted to put it off as long as I could.

While I knelt at his grave, talking to him about things that are going on I thought about all that has happened since he passed.

I queried a book, written four others and I’ll be querying a new book this summer. If it’s not accepted, I’ll publish it anyway.

The realization came after I left his grave, wiped away the tears, and kissed my wife.

I’ve done so much since he passed but not as much as I’ve wanted to. I’ve slacked on a few things, quit on others.

Then there was the breakthrough:

Late Saturday night, while I was laying in bed, trying to sleep. I thought about what I’ve written since he passed.

There are a lot of short horror stories. And a couple of horror themed novels. But if I enjoy the writing and finish the story it has a horror element.

Whether it’s a sci-fi story about shadows on a deserted planet or dark fantasy; it always has those horror elements that I love.

I used to fight those elements. I wanted to write things that people would talk about.

Then I thought of all the horror books I’ve read that stuck with me. Then came the thoughts of the movies that always stuck with me. They’ve always been horror.

I fought for a long time to not have fantastical elements in my writing but I guess they always popped up for a reason.

Anyway, enjoy your week and happy writing.

What fiction is to me.

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The thought of what fiction is to me and what it means to me has been on my mind this week.

It’s the little spaces in between paragraphs when I’m considering what to write next. The moments when I write something well and amaze my self.

Most of all it’s freedom.

Freedom from distractions. Freedom to find purpose in the lives of the characters I create and the ability to try and scare them.

I used to write to impress people. I thought it would but most people don’t care.

When I write it’s to scare myself and maybe my wife. She’s my first reader and if I can scare both of us, I feel accomplished.

I gave up writing for others. There’s no satisfaction in it. There’s no reward in it. They won’t come to you frightened. Most of them won’t read what you write anyway so what’s the use.

Fiction to me is being myself. Finding purpose within the words and trying to make something memorable.

I may not be published but writing for myself is rewarding as hell.

Keep writing.

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There are moments as a writer when you have to ignore the world around you.

This is related to my post on Tuesday.

I often consider going quiet on social media, in text messages, and everything else.

I want to take this break to finish projects.

There’s a worry, especially as an unpublished writer, that going offline for long amounts of time you’ll lose eyeballs.

I feel this is true and if I leave all my social media I’ll lose everything I’ve built.

Being that I’m publishing on Amazon later this year, I know I won’t leave my blog or Twitter and I may have start a new Facebook account.

I don’t want to but in order to get eyeballs on my writing I may have to.

I’ll keep going on the blog because I’m enjoying talking to all of my readers.

I hope you’re having a good day!

The way through…

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There are moments in life when we’re taking our time, creating things, and something from our past rears its ugly head.

This happened the other day.

I’ve written since middle school. It’s only been in the last five years I decided to take my writing seriously. The main reason I decided to pursue my writing full-time is that of my wife’s encouragement.

Before that time I’d only done it on the side and never considered my writing worthy of publication.

Then, something happened. Someone told me I’d never be a writer.  That I’d never do what I love doing. It was a hard blow. Afterward, I contemplated a lot of things, suicide one of them.

Then, I realized something. That person didn’t know who I was and had no interest in discovering the person I was.

It wasn’t that they said those words, it was more that I took it to heart. I believed them. I felt like they were right about me.

Today, life is different. I understand that person didn’t know me and never cared to.

Without my wife’s encouragement, I’m not sure I would have continued to write.

I’m at a crossroads with my writing. Do I keep going, take a chance, and struggle a little more or do I quit?

After all, I’ve done in my life I only have a couple of things I’m proud of: My wife, my kids, and my writing.

I’ve written seven novels, over a hundred short stories but I haven’t published any of them. Maybe that person’s words influenced my thinking for a few years afterward. Now, I don’t feel that way.

The road used to be cluttered with doubt and fear. Today, I that same road is full of possibilities.

I’ve found the way through. I found it on my own and now it’s time to crush it.