Struggle, Depression and Climbing from the Rabbit Hole.

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Our struggle to survive is equaled by whether we feel we should.

At times of great struggle we’re bent in half, struggling to discover why we’re in a dark place, why we hate ourselves and how to get out of the darkness.

The struggle is helped only by having people around us who understand what we’re going through, otherwise we’re left to our own meager defenses.

These defenses, though sometimes great, are no match for the darkness which proceeds to swallow us whole. This entire struggle, seems determines to sink who we are, take away our lives and leave us asking why.

The why of the struggle is the greatest determiner for how we got to that point. We don’t see the small things, the little pieces of who we are and only see the larger pieces, the big things which led us to this point.

But, it’s the smaller pieces. The moments of struggle which have led us farther down the rabbit hole and have left us scrambling to crawl from the rabbit hole, scathed, broken and scarred.

The scars of the struggle, physical of mental could last for months, possibly forever, but getting through the fight, standing at the opening of the hole and being alive, that is the greatest struggle.

Getting to that point of the struggle leads us to salvation and to getting better, but we often must seek help to get better.

Seeking help doesn’t mean we’re weak, it only means we couldn’t go the path alone any longer.

Good luck, and have a great week.

Bri

Transcendental Meditation, E-Books and Keep Moving Forward

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A few months ago I took a break from writing DoI (Delusions Of Ink). I wanted to write other things, plan things for the next few years and spend more time with my family.

Each of those things have happened, but I felt a longing, that something was missing.

I started a new blog, one that is different from DoI, and I’ve enjoyed it, but I miss feeling like I’m helping people. Which is why this post is important.

Over the next few months, I’ll be working on a new e-book, that will incorporate all the things I’ve discussed on DoI.

The book will be focused on TM, and though things have changed with me, my wife brought it to my attention that Transcendental Meditation is the one thing about who I am that I’ve chosen.

TM brought me out of a deep depression and showed me the person I was (he wasn’t as nice as I thought) and taught me that who I am to myself is more important than who I am to others, which was a major breakthrough for me.

I found that when I wrote DoI and readers connected with me outside the blog, either through Facebook, or e-mail, I felt something I’d never felt, humbleness.

I realized that what I wrote was reaching people who needed help, and this was more important to me, but it also became a distraction. I wanted every post to do that, and when they didn’t I was upset and a little depressed.

Then I took my break, wrote other thing, created other things and found that it doesn’t matter what I write, it matters what people feel and how if I can help them.

That’s when I thought about creating the e-book.

I’ll post more information soon, but I will be trying to post more on DoI.

I hope you’ll come along with me and I hope I can help.

Bri

Lead yourself to where you want to be.

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We often see the person in the mirror as a differnt person than the one we’re living with.

We don’t see the person others see.

We ignore the accolades, pats on the back and the well dones.

We think that something may be wrong with these people. They can’t be talking about us, they don’t see us that way, they must some sort of defect.

What if we get past that and see ourselves as better than what we think of who we are? What then?

When we get past the doubt, hate and hurt of who we think we are and delve into the world of what everyone else sees, then we’ll be structuring our lives for better things.

Each day we have a voice in our head, but we can choose to ignore the doubt in our head and push through to the next moment.

Each moment in our lives is something we accept or ignore. 

If we accept the torture of hating who we are we’re finished, but if we choose to believe those around us, we can live the life we were always meant to live.

If you’re not living the life you want, what’s stopping you?

Why do you listen to the voice in your head?

Remember you control what happens in your life. You alone control the puppet strings.

Which way will you lead yourself? To greatness or mediocrity?

A Work In Progress

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This is a guest post from my wife. She’s been practicing TM for three and a half weeks.

The Phoenix

When people make changes in their lives they often point to a breaking point, a specific incident that made them decide to make a change. For me, however, learning Transcendental Meditation (TM) is not about experiencing a breaking point, but about realizing I could no longer accept the person I had become.

Although I experienced some depression when I was younger, I was always able to overcome those feelings.

As an adult, I’ve had a difficult time doing this, and have been on and off various medications for the past six or seven years. I came to accept that not much made me happy even though I have a wonderful husband, who tells me how he feels more often than I probably hear, and two kids who love to play and laugh. Even painting and drawing that I used to love, would sit untouched for months because I didn’t find joy and satisfaction in it.

Over the past year, I’ve seen what TM has done for my husband, but kept telling myself that there was no way it would help me. After all, everything else I’ve tried has only been a short-term band-aid.

I have been doing TM for three and a half weeks, and can say I am starting to notice how 20 minutes twice a day can change how you view yourself, your relationships with others, and the world around you. Although I still take my medication, TM is helping me in ways a pill has.

I’ve been able to enjoy the time I have with my family. I don’t find myself getting as angry, or annoyed when my kids do something they should not do. I’m able to find the humor in things I previously ignored. Best of all, I feel better about myself, and who I am, than I have most of my adult life.

Everything is a work in progress, but with TM my hopes and expectations for the future are positive for the first time.

Breaking the Limits Of Who We Are.

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We inspire, create and live by a set of limits placed upon us by those around us.

These limits define who we are, what we do and how we live.

When we get past these limits and realize we were taught wrong, it disrupts the life we had and can send us over the edge.

The most curious thing about TM is discovering things about myself I’ve believed since I was child. Things I was told by parents, teachers and school guidance counselors have turned out to be false.

I was told I couldn’t do something based on my grades, where I grew up or what I believed.

A few weeks after beginning TM, I had a revelation about my life and the limits I’d been taught.

This made me think about who I was and afterward I knew I’d discovered who I was and what I wanted out of life and it had nothing to do with the beliefs of those I’d been surrounded with as a youth.

I saw in those early weeks of TM my future self and where I wanted my life to go.

Our life is set by the limits of what we’re told, what we’re taught, but when we discover the falsehood of those limits and begin to understand there are no limits, it sets us free and helps us discover a part of ourselves we never believed could exist.

This part knows no limits, it accepts nothing but the absence of limits and when we choose to follow it, we’ll understand limits are placed to protect us from failure, but the greatest gift is to fail.

It’s only in failure we truly learn the mistakes we’d made and with learning we see the reason behind the failure and change things to never make the same mistake again.

Our life is short, but living without the limits placed upon us is the way to truly understand ourselves and our life’s failures.

When I saw the limits placed upon me, I knew something had to change and I’m beginning the changes.

The first was last week. By moving the blog to once a week I’m able to focus my energy to other things and break the limits of trying to complete two posts and maintain my other responsibilities.

In the next few weeks there will be minor things changed, but they will be negligible.

For next week I plan on having my wife—who’s been doing TM for a couple weeks already—write a post on the blog.

I’ll be doing other things with other types of media and will keep things going on the blog, but the posts will stay at once a week.