Category Archives: Uncategorized

Writing What I Want To Read

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When you’ve written five books, none of them seeing the light of day, for one reason or another, you reevaluate your writing and you wonder what’s gone wrong.

I started out writing what I thought others wanted to see me write, it sucked. It really sucked.

Then I decided to write what the market wanted. So, I wrote a YA book. But that book has been in rewrite and revision hell. It’s been rewritten 3 times and I don’t see an end in sight for that one.

I like science fiction.

A few of my favorite writers are Frank Herbert and Isaac Asimov.

I thought, I’ll write a Science Fiction story with spaceships, aliens, robots and shit like that. I wrote deep into that world and found, I wasn’t having fun.

What happens when you read a lot of one author? You start writing like that author. This happened in one of my books. I’d been consuming Neil Gaiman on a weekly basis, and low and behold, I wrote a book that read like a Gaiman book.

I really loved the story, but it became a mess of two many characters and some really weird shit that I couldn’t control, which happens when you start giving rocks voices.

Through all of the books I’ve written, I never written what I would truly want to read.

Here’s the writing prompt I created for myself. Write a book with the elements you’d want to see in a book.

I love American history, Fantasy, and magic. That’s what I’m going with. I’ll return to the story and leave you wondering.

I will be posting something on Wattpad related to this in the near future. It will be a first draft, but if you like it, I’ll keep going.

Peace,

Bri

Why Childhood Defines Us.

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Within the time we’re allowed to concern ourselves with who we are, life moves past us and concerns itself with trying to take us down.

We decide to be the person we are because of what we’ve struggled through. This leads us to concern ourselves with what makes the rest of the world appear as a burned out shell of what our childhood self remembers.

Our childhood self doesn’t understand who we are, only what they’ve seen.

We look at our childhood self, their struggles, pains and regrets, mostly the pains, and see the road our mind took to keep us alive through it all.

Trauma deals a blow to who we thought we were as kids.

Sometimes the memories come flooding back and we’re stuck with them for a few days.

They’re reminders of the life we had, the people we once loved. Then there are those who left us with our tires flat, engine dead and no transmission on the side of the road.

Those people created us more than any others.

They’re the reason we struggle to be someone, not to prove them wrong, not anymore, but to make sure they see our bright shining star.

They’ll take notice, but we’re usually past giving a shit.

We’ll see them watching, but when they approach with their tow truck, we’ve already bought a new car and driven off.

Moving off from the damage of childhood makes us stronger, keeps us working towards being better and it defines our purpose.

What have you done to define your purpose?

Drum Roll Please…

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You’ve probably been wondering, what the hell is going to happen next, well, here “we” go.

First, introductions, since I’m new here, I’ll go first.

Cubist-Zero

It sounds oddly threatening. Like some sort of hacker alias, but I’ll tell you, it’s not.

I spend my days wandering the halls of the brain, hoping for intelligent life, which only happens when a book is placed before his eyes, which happens often, but knowing him you already know that.

Welcome to this experiment, because oddly enough, that’s the only way to look at what’s happening. We’ll see how everything goes, but this is quite nice. It’s decorated with the usual things, but I guess you need to see from my side to understand that, anyway, enjoy the show. I’ll be around, but I’ll be quite busy writing, which is my favorite thing, sometimes I get let out and he can’t get me back in, and I ramble, but I guess you’ve noticed that.

I’ll pop in from time to time, when the mood strikes us, not sure when that will be. I hope you’ll be patient and learn that these things take time and, well punishment.

That last part, that’s me. But I’ll see you all in a while, peace…CZ.

Transcendental Meditation, Blogging and Changing Priorities.

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We see our creative side all the time.

It comes up in conversation when we least expect it, and sometimes, though not often, we find ourselves within the realm of finding writing and creativity that astounds us and amplifies what we believed in ourselves.

It’s been nearly a year since I began TM and though I’ve talked more about how it’s changed my life concerning depression, there is another way it’s changed me.

I’ve been writing a blog for 10 years, and though Delusions of Ink isn’t my first blog, it’s the one that I’ve been able to help people with and because of that the confidence I have in myself and my writing has grown.

A year ago I seriously thought I would stop writing.

I mean this seriously. I was going to delete my blog, all the stories I’ve written, the novels I’ve finished and quit writing.

When I began TM, and I began figuring out what I wanted to do with my writing, I never thought I would keep blogging, nor that I would help readers with their depression issues or have my blog featured on TM.org.

Writing is something I’ve loved since I was a child. I made up stories, wrote some of them down, but when I was in high school I began writing a lot more and somewhere between 18 and 22 I got lost and didn’t write.

After I quit college after my first year and spent more time reading, I learned to write again, though it was in baby steps.

I wrote a novel, though it was bad, and finished a second a year after that. But I haven’t finished a novel in a couple of years and I feel I need to do that.

I’ve written short stories, blog posts, but no finished novels. I’ve started a dozen or more, but I’ve always been stuck in the middle.

I started a novel shortly after beginning TM and it’s been sitting on my hard drive for too long and now that I’ve found my voice in blogging and have helped people find their voices through TM, it’s time to reduce my time commitments from Delusions of Ink for a little while and get some words on the page.

My reasons for this are many, first: I have day job commitments and family commitments which I must meet and along with plans to move in the next six months, finding the time to do all the things I want to this year while keeping my sanity will prove hard. I want to do at least a post a week, and more than likely will, but that’s all I’ll be doing.

I would like to thank all of my readers and especially the administrators of TM.org for their faith in my writing, especially when I had none, and for giving me a chance to help people with my words.

 

Why Some People Didn’t Like How Transcendental Meditation Changed Me.

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Life runs through the woods, often being chased by wolves. We stand still, waiting for life to pass through the woods, outrun the wolves and tear into a clearing of pure light.

Life reminds us often that no matter what we change, there will always be those who don’t like change. These people are comfortable with who we are, they know how we’ll react in certain instances and when we do change they try to talk us out of change.

“You’re not really leaving.”

“You don’t need to quit—enter substance—it helps.”

They do these things out of comfort. It’s not truly anything against the person you’ve become.

It’s the instance of who you are now and the fact they were comfortable with the person you were. They knew that person, or thought they did.

When I began TM 10 months ago, it wasn’t the people who accepted me for the changes that surprised me, it was the people who’d make comments about, “something wrong with you” or “what are you taking?”

Each small fraction of these comments started to make me think about who these people are and how I should deal with the fact they weren’t liking the person I’d become.

There are always going to be people who don’t like who you are, that’s a fact of life. But, the people who noticed you when you were the other person, really noticed you, those are the ones who will be supportive of any changes you go through. Those people don’t care as long as you’re happy in your own skin.

There is truly nothing you can do about the other people. They liked the other person because of what you brought to the table. All the things that create a relationship.

What those people didn’t understand about you then, is that you didn’t like who you were and they never saw that part of you.

The people you let in, the ones you talk to daily, the people you’d do anything for, those are the people who love you regardless, the other people want you to be the same.

Change scares people. It makes them uncomfortable and when we find discomfort in things, we begin to hate them.

Change in yourself is what’s important, that change that makes you wake up, get out of bed, meditate, exercise and become who you want to be. That change is the important part of who you are and who you’ll become after those other people are still in their same lives, doing the same things.

Those who crave change, who need to become something else, we are the ones who do things that make life better for others.

I never understood that last part until I started receiving messages about how my posts about TM have helped people and how what I wrote led people to learn the Transcendental Meditation Technique.

If I can help one person with every post about TM and what led me to practice it, I believe I’m helping the world be a better place.

Remember, no one can cause you pain without your permission. Never give them the permission. It’s your life, run it!

Brian