I reached a breaking point.
This happened for a number of reasons. The main on being I haven’t taken care of myself lately.
I stopped working out, I’m not sure why. I wasn’t burnt out. My muscles weren’t sore or my joints, I just stopped.
Exercise, mostly weight training, has always been in my life.
My biological father did bodybuilding when I was younger and when I turned 14 he got me in the weight room.
Initially I didn’t care for it, spending most of my gym time in the pool instead of the weight room. I’ve always loved the water. It’s a Pisces thing.
As long grew older I fell in love with being in the gym. I enjoyed the feeling of the weights, the pump in my muscles and attended the Olympia on a couple of occasions.
Until recently I never associated the gym with my mental wellbeing. It was just something I did.
Then I looked at where my life was when I spent the most time in the gym or my muscles grew the most.
Those were emotional times.
In high school I used my weight training class to deal with my teenage anxiety. Never understanding then what I was doing.
In my early twenties I used it to deal with loneliness and that I was an awkward shy person.
I found comfort in the weight room. It was something I could do where my effort determined the results.
In my late twenties I used it to deal with our first miscarriage. Then in my early thirties to deal with my daughter’s early birth and first month in the NICU.
As I moved up on age I never noticed this, until now.
Most recently, I used it to deal with the death of my big brother.
When I struggle most I return to the weight room. That’s what I’m beginning again.
It’s another way to deal with anxiety, my writing frustrations, and just with every day life issues.
It has never failed in getting my mind right. It never failed in adjusting my attitude or my mindset.
TM keeps my mind in good shape, but with the combination of TM and exercise everything fires on all cylinders.
I’m back in the gym because I realized it keeps my mind more focused when I do it.
I may not thank my biological father for much, but a love of the weight room will always be one of them.
Have a good weekend.
Get shit done, have some fun, and keep going.