I changed how I read my first pass and saved my sanity, and story.

I used to print my stories out, go through them, and that’s it. When our printer died, I read it off my laptop.

I realized it wasn’t working.

I put the file in Mobi form and put it on my kindle. I rarely use my kindle for reading and it seemed a good reason to use it.

It’s worked out well.

But seeing it on the Kindle in the form it would take after publication energized me. It made me realize the story is good and that it would one day see the light it deserves.

It was an epiphany. It gave me a new view at my work that I’d never had before.

It’s not reading through my own eyes, it’s reading as if I were the one who purchased the book.

It felt like a new book, one with more potential than I’d seen before.

Having a book as a file on a computer is one thing, reading it as the intended audience would gave me a whole new perspective on the draft and where the story could go.

I’m only sorry that I’ve never done this with previous stories. It makes me want to go back through the books I’ve shelved and see if they’re worth saving.

For the longest time I didn’t think about the other stories I’ve written. I wrote them, worked on them a little and moved on to the next one.

Seeing it in a published form gave me new eyes when I didn’t believe I needed them.

I have a lot of work to do with it but reading it the way the intended reader would is changing how I work on a draft.

It’s definitely increased my enthusiasm for the project.

I didn’t see the problems the other way, but now, I see the problems and understand how to fix them because I’m reading it the way my readers would.

I hope you all have a great week.

Happiness in the small things.

The words came out this week and I made decisions on things I should’ve dealt with, but it was the small things that brought me peace.

I was able to pay attention to my writing yesterday. I noticed the small words, the good sentences, and how the words flowed well.

Everything came together. My mind felt more clear than it has in a few weeks, not sure why.

I took my time. Finding the correct words. Resulting in great flow and better form.

These little things gave me confidence. It’s been lacking, you may have noticed that. I feel better about my writing. It’s getting better.

I have a better plan.

I knew what I wanted to do but after talking to my wife I set a blueprint.

I’ve laid it out and the edges are brushing up against what I’m doing next year. But it’s all good.

It’s about finding happiness in the little things and I’m doing that.

Moving to the next writing stage.

On Monday I wrote about taking time with what I’ve written.

I wrote a book in December(talked about that here), another in May and June. I didn’t write about that second one. I don’t know why.

But I’ve written 7 short stories since then. I’ll be going over those as well as others I wrote after the one from December.

There’s a weird thing about finishing a book for me. I have to write something short afterwards. I tried writing something long after December’s book.

Because I wrote that book quickly, I got sick and had a general feeling of ill health while trying to write it. I quit it and it’s sitting on my hard drive waiting for me to return.

Now I still have a plan for it. It’s the second part of the book I wrote in December.

Here’s where that gets tricky: I have trouble doing read throughs of drafts. Maybe I’m not doing it right, but I have trouble with it.

I know I should do it to figure out what wrong with the draft, but it always feels wrong. Like I should just write another draft.

I am a discovery writer or pantser.

I was telling my wife that maybe that’s the problem. I’ve written 9 books and though one is out being queried, I’ve only written a beat sheet once. I’ve never done an outline because it feels wrong to me. I get bored of the story idea.

I used a beat sheet after I had a first draft done and maybe I need to do that again.

I realize that writing another full draft after the first one is 86,000 is an undertaking but maybe that’s what I should do.

Maybe that’s what I should start doing with every story?

I love writing and I enjoy everything about it. Maybe it’s time I start using a beat sheet/outline.

If it helps me get my writing in the hands of readers who would enjoy it I think that’s what I should do.

I’m moving to a new stage. One where my writing needs more focus and I believe an outline after the first draft of where I’m heading

Happy writing and I’ll talk more on Friday about this. It’s a new idea and I’m trying to bounce it off my head.

When working through it isn’t enough.

If you’ve read the last few posts you know last week was a low point.

I had too much to drink one night which spiraled until I found myself unable to write.

I didn’t work through it, because you don’t work through depression. It’s a battle that will never be won. It comes back again and again.

With last week I took a step back at what I was doing in my life in writing and my focus was off.

I hadn’t decided what to improve.

I knew there were things in my writing but I didn’t sit down and go through them.

Last week I started reading the Harry Bosch books by Michael Connelly. I read books 1-5 and the first book in the Renee Ballard series.

Connelly makes you like his main characters. They have flaws but they’re valid flaws for who they are. These types of characters are what I needed to focus on, which I why I read so many of them.

I’m taking a break from Hieronymus for a little while. I love Bosch but reading that fast made my head spin.

It’s the characters that make the book interesting, not the story or plot. It’s taken me too long to understand that.

It’s the characters stupid.

The problem with expectations…

I talked last week about my struggle getting back to writing, having too much to drink, and all of that.

I think last week was about the high expectations I have for myself and my writing.

Every day I try and live a life my kids, my wife, and I will be proud of.

I bartend as many shifts as I can get and write every day.

I worked another event in Park City, Utah on Saturday. The other bartender and I got to talking and he said, “This gig must work out perfect for you.”

And it does.

Bartending two to three days a week works for my writing and family life.

When you’ve come from working full time to part time, the world changes, people look at you differently, but you mustn’t care what they think.

You know how hard you work.

I’m at the desk every day, even this last week when I’ve had to go somewhere else to work so my son could get his summer classes done,(he’s taking an online class this summer to boost his credits for graduation).

So I gave him the space to work on his class and I went somewhere else to work, which I’ll be doing the rest of the summer.

This past week was a struggle. I had to think about my writing in a different way and had to look at the stories I’m writing differently.

It’s hard to explain but maybe I’ll try on Wednesday.

Have a good Monday.