Your insecurities are killing you.

Don’t accept anything other than the life you want and deserve.

Each of us has those life moments where the doubt crushes you. It digs into your life, pulling the tendrils of happiness out and squashes them on the floor.

Then there are the moments where everyone is telling you that you can’t do what you’re trying to do. That you’re incapable of the greatness you see within yourself. 

These people are not trying to break some truth to you, they may be blood but they’re not family

These moments are the insecurities you see within yourself, these doubts of who you truly are, these moments are the basis for crawling out of the pit you find yourself in. Their words should motivate you more than anything else. They should push you to where you need to go.

When these people, these moments and those doubts creep up, go to another room because no one knows you like you know you. No one can understand your dreams like you.

You must keep up with the standards you set for yourself, you must push yourself to another level, you cannot stop, you must not stop if for nothing else than to prove the doubts, the insecurities, and these people wrong.

Don’t accept anything other than the life you want and deserve.

Taking Ownership of my writing.

With Monday’s post, I’ve been thinking about the way I’ve been writing.

  • Have I been working hard enough to achieve my goals?
  • Have I done everything I need to get published?
  • Have I been working on the parts of my writing that need improvement?

To all of those, the answer is no, I haven’t worked hard enough, I haven’t done what I need to do. I haven’t worked on the parts of the craft that I fail at.

There is a big reason for that, laziness and fear.

I’ve been lazy. I’ve watched too much tv, I haven’t stayed up late when I told myself I would. I’ve let myself down

I’ve watched too much tv, I haven’t stayed up late when I told myself I would.

I’ve let myself down.

In the process of letting myself down, I’ve let my family down. I haven’t worked hard enough because I got too comfortable. I was too used to my life the way it was.

I didn’t want to work harder because I was worried I wouldn’t be able to spend time with my kids or my wife.

Along the way to this realization, I forgot to accept who I was. I forgot to take ownership of what I wanted to do and put forth the effort to do it.

I didn’t want to work harder because I was comfortable.

I’ve known for a while that I need to work harder. I’ve looked at my writing and realized I need to improve my craft but I haven’t, not until this past few weeks.

Each of us will hit that point.

We’ll hit the point where we’re looking at ourselves in the mirror and we have to ask that person, what are you doing? Why aren’t you working hard enough? What the hell are you afraid of?

We have to answer those questions honestly if not, we’re truly lying to ourselves.


Quit making excuses, you have time.

If you want it bad enough, you’ll give up sex, sleep, food and human interaction.

For the longest time, I made excuses about not having time to write. Now that I write full-time, I see all the moments I could’ve used to write when I was really just screwing off.

When you write full-time, you see all the time others aren’t using for their art. There are many instances when I’ll see a post on social media, ‘I didn’t have time to write today, but I got my hair done, I played ____ video game or I went out drinking with friends’.

I like to play video games, have drink with friends and go to the barber and get pampered, but I don’t let it interfere with my work, because honestly, that’s what I consider writing now, it took me longer than it should have, but it’s a job that I love that I haven’t been paid for, yet.

Quit saying you don’t have time, you do.

Quit making excuses, the only excuses you can use are these.

  • My spouse/partner/girlfriend/boyfriend got hurt or worse.
  • My kids got hurt or worse.
  • A very close family member got hurt or worse.

That’s it, those three are the only excuses. If you want it bad enough, you’ll give up sex, sleep, food and human interaction.

Otherwise, just quit.

Never Letting Go

pablo (23)

We reach out to the world, trying to discover our soul.

It comes back to us in fits, stuttering and trying to stand.

We abandon what we loved of ourselves in the hope of finding something that was missing, to realize, it was there; we just weren’t paying attention to it.

Some days, weeks and months have been like this lately.

I feel my life, but yet, it isn’t where I want it to be, so I return to what I love about who I am.

I love that I’ve been given the opportunity to write, as much as I want and that my wife and kids support me as much as they do.

I see the gift of writing and being creative standing in front of me. I understand how precious the gift is and wonder why I left it in the first place.

I was chasing what I thought I needed but realized I have what I need. I understand how powerful writing is. I learned that at an early age, but often forget it.

Today, I’m writing something that is truly me, and I love that about it. I create from memories, dreams and thoughts, but now that I’ve fallen in love again, I won’t let this precious gift of writing go again.


5 Things I Learned About Myself While Battling Depression

There are little things that happen when you begin to live.

They’re small to others but to those of us who struggle with depression, they’re profound.

Throughout my battle with depression I’ve had things that kept me going, though at a few points they didn’t feel like they were enough.

  1. I’m able understand my children better.
  2. I don’t get angry as often at little things.
  3. I understand my life and how I got to this point.
  4. My wife understands me better.
  5. I know where my limits are and how to manage things better.

In hindsight I should have told my wife or someone how bad things were, but the shame of being male and dealing with depression scared me into being quiet.

Men and boys are told to keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves and to never let anyone know we’re hurting.

This causes problems for us and our families.

Oftentimes resulting in tragedy.

Getting through my depression I’ve learned to listen to my body and have it guide me in the direction I need to go.

Depression is one of those things that never truly leaves us. It’s part of who we are and knowing that helps us understand ourselves us better.

Why We Should Ignore The Rainclouds.

In our lives we discover there are always doubters.

These people believe that because they didn’t, or couldn’t do it, it’s not possible.

The reason they say these things are they tried and gave up on what they wanted.

They saw it ahead of them, but just before they got there it became too hard. They gave up because their will to be someone better wasn’t stronger than being satisfied with the life they had.

Along your journey through life, you’ll meet a lot of these doubters, and they’ll have good stories, but they always end in, “I couldn’t do it anymore”, and that statement is what makes us different from those who, “couldn’t do it anymore.”

They thought because they were near the end, or what they perceived to be the end, it would get easier.

Has life ever gotten easier when you were trying to do something difficult?

Have you ever sat and thought, “Climbing this mountain is going to be easier than the training?” Why do you think that is?

The training prepared you for getting to that mountain, tasting that cold air, feeling that snow on your face and the rocks under your feet. It never did the work for you, it was only practice.

That’s what every moment of your life has been up to the point where you believe you can do great things, practice.

Sure, you’ll deal with difficulties again, but they’ll be easier than the ones when you started.

If you ever think what you’re doing is easy, you’re doing the wrong things and not trying hard enough.

Living the life you want will be difficult, but it will be worth the moments of staying up late, of staying at the gym late, of trying to improve your life.

Each and every moment of your life until you reach your goal is practice, but once you get there, you’ll need to work harder to stay where you’re at, not because it gets easier, but because once you get there, you’ll never want to leave that life again.

Rabbit Holes, Monsters and Finding Things In Dark Places.

Who we are isn’t defined by perception, it’s defined by who we want to be.

For a long time I’ve thought about who I am, what I want and whether I have the balls to go and get it.

In those moments, thinking about who I am, I thought about the person hidden inside. The monster, because honestly we all have a little monster inside. It’s the thing that keeps us going when the darkness creeps in.

What I want, well, that’s something else. I want what my life deserves, and often that’s in conflict with the perception of who I am, to others I’m perceived as this nice guy, but the monster, well, he’s not happy about that.

There are moments of dissociation, not complete, but enough to know there’s something else…the rabbit hole gets bigger, but it’s also great fun to be the monster, he gets more done, he lets me feel the way I want, and sometimes, though not often, I see the world as it really is, beautiful, with glancing shadows in the brightest spots and chasms of light within the most beautiful of creatures.

The rabbit hole never eats the monster, but the monster is seen licking his lips from the edge, waiting for an emergence.

Who we are isn’t defined by perception, it’s defined by who we want to be, and honestly, isn’t that what really matters?