Climbing my mountain…again!

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I’m listening to Staind right now. It helps me focus when I’m wondering what to do with things. Nine Inch Nails does the same thing for me when I’m angry.

But, let’s get to the gist of this post, shall we?

Last July,  my wife and I boxed up our house in Las Vegas in an attempt to get our kids away from the constant barrage of naked women on billboards and the way Vegas portrays women in general.

It was something we’d planned for eight months and we’d saved enough to move, get our stuff in a storage unit so we could later put it in a house.

Another reason we moved was so I could write.

This is something I’ve wanted to do since I the age of 14.

Today, I look at what I’m doing and as Neil Gaiman says, “I’m moving away from my mountain.”

I’m getting farther away from my goal of writing full-time.

I’m between two places, one that leads me to the mountain top, another that takes the mountain and places it under a pile of workout programs, supplements, and distractions that I shouldn’t have been involved with in the first place.

I should have known better, that’s the problem. I keep looking at where the road diverted and get sick.

I’ll be writing and ignoring things for a while. I love working out with these programs, but I want to be a writer.

I have an event in Dallas in May and that may change my mind, but writing is the reason we moved and what I’ve been doing has taken time, resources and money away from that goal.

 

Writing…

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Within the dreams of men, are the shattered worlds of forgotten lands.

We see the truth come through in shattered waves. Remnants of worlds fill the chasm of the lost.

It appears before us in great swaths of color and enormous blankets of red and gold illuminate the world around us.

Once these worlds are hidden, they know no future or care to have any.

Seeing the dreams of men, that is a falsehood that many don’t care to divulge.

I know the dreams of men and they’re filled with blood.

What’s been going on…

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Hello,

I know I’ve been away, but I have to tell you why.

It’s been nearly two years since I began my journey with Transcendental Meditation, and recently I started another journey.

While TM helped me with depression, I wasn’t doing other things to help.

I wasn’t exercising, I wasn’t spending time with my family the way I should and I was ignoring little things that led me to more bouts of depression.

TM wasn’t the cure for depression, it was merely a catalyst to get me healthy.Now, I’m working out every day, doing my TM every day, eating better, spending time with my wife and kids and I can honestly tell you, I haven’t had a depression issue since I’ve been incorporating exercise into my daily regimen.

I know there are some of you who will say, but you said TM helped you?

It saved me. I was at the worst part of my life and it was the life preserver.

Without beginning TM I can honestly say, I wouldn’t be alive today.

I love what I’m doing now, I love how it makes my body feel and I still love how my mind feels after the twenty minutes twice a day of TM.

I’ve recovered from depression, for now, it will creep its ugly head into my life again, mental illness is just that way, but I hope everything I’ve written on this page has helped someone, I’m absolutely certain it has. I’ve been contacted by numerous people who’ve read my words on this page or from the articles on TM.org.

Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and do the things I’ve been doing for the last few months and also the TM I’ve been doing for the last two years.

TM made my mind healthy, but the routines I’m doing, they’ve made my body healthy.

I hope you have a great day,

Brian

Never too old

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Tomorrow, I turn 40, while most people freak out, my wife is one of them, I’m proud I made it this far.

A few years ago, I was going through a bad depression. 

I had thought of suicide at the time and had stood on a ledge at my old job in Las Vegas.I can’t tell you why I didn’t jump, only that I felt there was more for me to do in life.
I have two kids whom I adore, a beautiful wife and everyone thought my life was perfect.
No one has a perfect life, not even the millionaires. We all deal with something we wish we didn’t have to.
A little while after I climbed off the ledge, I started meditating. 
It all started by working on my mental and psychological issues. 
Today, those issues pop up every so often, so I started another part of fixing myself.
I began working on my physical health. And to say that I feel better would be an understatement.
Today, I’m able to fit into clothes I haven’t worn in years; I have more energy to do things with my wife and kids, and I’m able to live a life that others indeed would envy.
I have time to write (my true creative love), have time to work the business I” ve been building, have time to read, and time to do the things my old job never afforded me.
How did I do those things?
I took control of my life through being an online fitness coach.
I talk about that, and people are like, yeah, bullshit, well…it’s the truth. 
Here’s how it happened:
My friend, she’d been coaching for a while, and knew it would be something that would interest me. 
She knew I wanted more time to write and spend with my family.
Today, I work my business for an hour a day and do the other things that matter to me.
Right now, there’s a program that I’ll be starting Monday. 
If you’ve ever wanted to go through a boot camp style workout, do it in your home with no one watching you screw up the moves. And no one to judge how you look. but if you want to coach, like I do and have more time to yourself or with family, all for less than a gym membership, comment at the end of this post.
Peace, 

Brian 

Writing What I Want To Read

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When you’ve written five books, none of them seeing the light of day, for one reason or another, you reevaluate your writing and you wonder what’s gone wrong.

I started out writing what I thought others wanted to see me write, it sucked. It really sucked.

Then I decided to write what the market wanted. So, I wrote a YA book. But that book has been in rewrite and revision hell. It’s been rewritten 3 times and I don’t see an end in sight for that one.

I like science fiction.

A few of my favorite writers are Frank Herbert and Isaac Asimov.

I thought, I’ll write a Science Fiction story with spaceships, aliens, robots and shit like that. I wrote deep into that world and found, I wasn’t having fun.

What happens when you read a lot of one author? You start writing like that author. This happened in one of my books. I’d been consuming Neil Gaiman on a weekly basis, and low and behold, I wrote a book that read like a Gaiman book.

I really loved the story, but it became a mess of two many characters and some really weird shit that I couldn’t control, which happens when you start giving rocks voices.

Through all of the books I’ve written, I never written what I would truly want to read.

Here’s the writing prompt I created for myself. Write a book with the elements you’d want to see in a book.

I love American history, Fantasy, and magic. That’s what I’m going with. I’ll return to the story and leave you wondering.

I will be posting something on Wattpad related to this in the near future. It will be a first draft, but if you like it, I’ll keep going.

Peace,

Bri