Author Archives: Brian B Baker

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About Brian B Baker

I write horror stories, review books, and talk about depression, and how I get through all of it.

What’s been going on…

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Hello,

I know I’ve been away, but I have to tell you why.

It’s been nearly two years since I began my journey with Transcendental Meditation, and recently I started another journey.

While TM helped me with depression, I wasn’t doing other things to help.

I wasn’t exercising, I wasn’t spending time with my family the way I should and I was ignoring little things that led me to more bouts of depression.

TM wasn’t the cure for depression, it was merely a catalyst to get me healthy.Now, I’m working out every day, doing my TM every day, eating better, spending time with my wife and kids and I can honestly tell you, I haven’t had a depression issue since I’ve been incorporating exercise into my daily regimen.

I know there are some of you who will say, but you said TM helped you?

It saved me. I was at the worst part of my life and it was the life preserver.

Without beginning TM I can honestly say, I wouldn’t be alive today.

I love what I’m doing now, I love how it makes my body feel and I still love how my mind feels after the twenty minutes twice a day of TM.

I’ve recovered from depression, for now, it will creep its ugly head into my life again, mental illness is just that way, but I hope everything I’ve written on this page has helped someone, I’m absolutely certain it has. I’ve been contacted by numerous people who’ve read my words on this page or from the articles on TM.org.

Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and do the things I’ve been doing for the last few months and also the TM I’ve been doing for the last two years.

TM made my mind healthy, but the routines I’m doing, they’ve made my body healthy.

I hope you have a great day,

Brian

Never too old

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Tomorrow, I turn 40, while most people freak out, my wife is one of them, I’m proud I made it this far.

A few years ago, I was going through a bad depression. 

I had thought of suicide at the time and had stood on a ledge at my old job in Las Vegas.I can’t tell you why I didn’t jump, only that I felt there was more for me to do in life.
I have two kids whom I adore, a beautiful wife and everyone thought my life was perfect.
No one has a perfect life, not even the millionaires. We all deal with something we wish we didn’t have to.
A little while after I climbed off the ledge, I started meditating. 
It all started by working on my mental and psychological issues. 
Today, those issues pop up every so often, so I started another part of fixing myself.
I began working on my physical health. And to say that I feel better would be an understatement.
Today, I’m able to fit into clothes I haven’t worn in years; I have more energy to do things with my wife and kids, and I’m able to live a life that others indeed would envy.
I have time to write (my true creative love), have time to work the business I” ve been building, have time to read, and time to do the things my old job never afforded me.
How did I do those things?
I took control of my life through being an online fitness coach.
I talk about that, and people are like, yeah, bullshit, well…it’s the truth. 
Here’s how it happened:
My friend, she’d been coaching for a while, and knew it would be something that would interest me. 
She knew I wanted more time to write and spend with my family.
Today, I work my business for an hour a day and do the other things that matter to me.
Right now, there’s a program that I’ll be starting Monday. 
If you’ve ever wanted to go through a boot camp style workout, do it in your home with no one watching you screw up the moves. And no one to judge how you look. but if you want to coach, like I do and have more time to yourself or with family, all for less than a gym membership, comment at the end of this post.
Peace, 

Brian 

Writing What I Want To Read

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When you’ve written five books, none of them seeing the light of day, for one reason or another, you reevaluate your writing and you wonder what’s gone wrong.

I started out writing what I thought others wanted to see me write, it sucked. It really sucked.

Then I decided to write what the market wanted. So, I wrote a YA book. But that book has been in rewrite and revision hell. It’s been rewritten 3 times and I don’t see an end in sight for that one.

I like science fiction.

A few of my favorite writers are Frank Herbert and Isaac Asimov.

I thought, I’ll write a Science Fiction story with spaceships, aliens, robots and shit like that. I wrote deep into that world and found, I wasn’t having fun.

What happens when you read a lot of one author? You start writing like that author. This happened in one of my books. I’d been consuming Neil Gaiman on a weekly basis, and low and behold, I wrote a book that read like a Gaiman book.

I really loved the story, but it became a mess of two many characters and some really weird shit that I couldn’t control, which happens when you start giving rocks voices.

Through all of the books I’ve written, I never written what I would truly want to read.

Here’s the writing prompt I created for myself. Write a book with the elements you’d want to see in a book.

I love American history, Fantasy, and magic. That’s what I’m going with. I’ll return to the story and leave you wondering.

I will be posting something on Wattpad related to this in the near future. It will be a first draft, but if you like it, I’ll keep going.

Peace,

Bri

6 and Counting

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It was a warm September day, even for Las Vegas.

I’d taken the day off so I could take my wife to her fetal monitoring appointment.

I’d missed all of them to that point because of work and I refused to miss that one.

We were a little more than a month from our due date. Our daughter was scheduled to arrive October 27th, but things changed that day.

I’d dropped our son off at Kindergarten and was able to sit with my wife for a few hours before we had to be at the appointment.

I don’t remember what we talked about, only that she looked beautiful.

We left the house a early because we didn’t want to be late and we both commented on how warm it was.

Once they hooked her up to the machine there was a flurry of activity around us, which got us in a panic.

We’d already had a miscarriage and other complications prior to this pregnancy and were fearful of anything going wrong.

The doctor came in and told us, “Your baby’s heartbeat is low and there’s little fluid in there with her. We’re sending you to hospital. You’re having her today.”

It was 6 weeks from our due date and I immediately called my mom to make sure she could get our son from school.

We arrived at the hospital, the Vegas sun beating down, my wife sweating, my stressing and they wheeled her up to the maternity ward.

My mom was able to get our son, and they arrived a while later.

My wife was hooked up, given her epidural we were ready to roll, then our little girl’s heart rate began to drop.

We were sent in for an emergency C-Section, which scared the hell out of both of us.

They started her and told me not to film them doing the surgery, which if you’ve never seen a C-Section, it’s surgery.

They pulled our girl out, she screamed, but it was labored.

Walking across the delivery/operating room, they were poking and prodding her and took her out of the room quickly.

When we got back to my wife’s room, they told us the bad news.

Our little girl’s lungs weren’t fully developed and they’d be watching her closely.

That night was one of the hardest nights I’ve had as a parent.

I couldn’t sleep and our little girl was in the Neonatal Infant Care Unit or N.I.C.U., a place she’d be staying for the next month.

Over the following month we watched our little girl fight with the feroctiy of grizzly, which is why I call her my little bear.

We were finally able to take her home from the hospital on her due date.

She was and is a strong willed little girl.

Today she turns six and is every bit the strong little bear she was in the hospital.

Happy Birthday my little bear.

Discovery, Direction and Moving Where Your Motivation Takes You.

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You discover yourself when you’re left to your own devices.

You learn about who you are, what you desire and what works best for you.

The devices you’re left to, well that’s a different kind of animal.

When the world around you changes and you’re stuck doing things you’ve always dreamed of, a few things happen.

You’ll slap yourself often. This is to check if you’re sleeping, but beware, when you do this, people will think you’re odd for slapping yourself in public.

You’ll understand that you’re better at something than you first thought. This understanding allows you to be more creative, and willing to adventure to places you didn’t believe you could go.

When you discover these places, you won’t believe they were there prior to your discovery. You’ll believe them false and it’s because of this belief you’ll learn that your life wasn’t what you believed it to be.

Belief in yourself should be the motivation for anything you do. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will either.

The belief you have in yourself is the most valuable commodity you possess, use it only with those who share your vision.

If you share it with everyone, it diminishes the commodity.

Trust in yourself and understand that discovery, desire and belief are the greatest assets you have.

When you know these things, then you’ll be headed in the correct direction.

Peace,

Bri