Within the dreams of men, are the shattered worlds of forgotten lands.
We see the truth come through in shattered waves. Remnants of worlds fill the chasm of the lost.
It appears before us in great swaths of color and enormous blankets of red and gold illuminate the world around us.
Once these worlds are hidden, they know no future or care to have any.
Seeing the dreams of men, that is a falsehood that many don’t care to divulge.
I know the dreams of men and they’re filled with blood.
Tomorrow, I turn 40, while most people freak out, my wife is one of them, I’m proud I made it this far.
A few years ago, I was going through a bad depression.
I had thought of suicide at the time and had stood on a ledge at my old job in Las Vegas.I can’t tell you why I didn’t jump, only that I felt there was more for me to do in life.
I have two kids whom I adore, a beautiful wife and everyone thought my life was perfect.
No one has a perfect life, not even the millionaires. We all deal with something we wish we didn’t have to.
A little while after I climbed off the ledge, I started meditating.
It all started by working on my mental and psychological issues.
Today, those issues pop up every so often, so I started another part of fixing myself.
I began working on my physical health. And to say that I feel better would be an understatement.
Today, I’m able to fit into clothes I haven’t worn in years; I have more energy to do things with my wife and kids, and I’m able to live a life that others indeed would envy.
I have time to write (my true creative love), have time to work the business I” ve been building, have time to read, and time to do the things my old job never afforded me.
How did I do those things?
I took control of my life through being an online fitness coach.
I talk about that, and people are like, yeah, bullshit, well…it’s the truth.
Here’s how it happened:
My friend, she’d been coaching for a while, and knew it would be something that would interest me.
She knew I wanted more time to write and spend with my family.
Today, I work my business for an hour a day and do the other things that matter to me.
Right now, there’s a program that I’ll be starting Monday.
If you’ve ever wanted to go through a boot camp style workout, do it in your home with no one watching you screw up the moves. And no one to judge how you look. but if you want to coach, like I do and have more time to yourself or with family, all for less than a gym membership, comment at the end of this post.
Peace,
Brian
You discover yourself when you’re left to your own devices.
You learn about who you are, what you desire and what works best for you.
The devices you’re left to, well that’s a different kind of animal.
When the world around you changes and you’re stuck doing things you’ve always dreamed of, a few things happen.
You’ll slap yourself often. This is to check if you’re sleeping, but beware, when you do this, people will think you’re odd for slapping yourself in public.
You’ll understand that you’re better at something than you first thought. This understanding allows you to be more creative, and willing to adventure to places you didn’t believe you could go.
When you discover these places, you won’t believe they were there prior to your discovery. You’ll believe them false and it’s because of this belief you’ll learn that your life wasn’t what you believed it to be.
Belief in yourself should be the motivation for anything you do. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will either.
The belief you have in yourself is the most valuable commodity you possess, use it only with those who share your vision.
If you share it with everyone, it diminishes the commodity.
Trust in yourself and understand that discovery, desire and belief are the greatest assets you have.
When you know these things, then you’ll be headed in the correct direction.
Peace,
Bri
I posted this on Medium the other day and wanted to post it here as well.
There are things you can do to be supportive of a writer, there are also things you shouldn’t do. This is will be about the latter.
I’m often asked about what I’m writing, yeah, don’t do that.
“Hey, can I borrow your pen?” Please don’t ever do this.
“So, tell me about your book?” Unless you’re an agent publisher or otherwise related to those I stated, don’t, just don’t. If you’re another writer, piss off.
“What do you listen to while writing?” You want to steal my mojo, and or screw up my writing? Oh, you’re just curious what a writer listens to? I listen to the moans and wails of a thousand screaming angels when I write, sometimes they’re demons, but usually, they’re angels.
“How do you come up with your stories?” I prick a vein, usually a large vein, pull the blood out with my teeth and spit it into a fountain pen, but that’s just me.
“Where do you write? I’d love to come watch.” Right, like its the NHL or another sport? I take my writing time seriously, if you try to interrupt me, you’ll be one of those screaming angels I talked about.
“Where do you find the time?” I actually borrowed the time-turner Hermione used in Harry Potter. It helps me to accomplish my goals better.
“Are you a parent? How do you parent and write?” I’m Superman. I’m able to change a diaper, create a world, help with homework, plot a story and cook dinner.
“Are you published?” If you’re unpublished, this will piss you off to no end. If you’re published, the inevitable, “Where can I find your book?” It’s a book. You find it where you find most books, libraries, bookstores and Amazon.
Remember, these are rules to follow, or else be smote by the wrathful writer gods.
If you break these rules and a writer sends a flock of crows after you, that’s your fault, and you must pay for the crows after they’re done peeling the flesh from your bones.
For over 11 years I’ve been struggling to write I’ve written two novels, over 50 short stories and stopped and started numerous others.
I did all of this while working 40 hours a week, struggling with migraines, depression and maintaining a relationship with my wife and kids.
I did all these things, but I never felt complete in who I was.
I know a lot of it had to do with that little voice in my head.
The one with my dad’s voice saying, “I wasn’t good enough” or ” I would never be a writer.”
Guess what, I’m a writer!
I’ve talked about the conversation my wife and I had about leaving Vegas, and how I would be able to write full-time and do another job to bring in money until my writing brought in money.
I am sitting here, telling you that not only did this happen, but in a couple months I’ll begin sending out a manuscript to agents.
Yes, I am a certified writer.
I have set schedule of taking the kids to school, getting a few thousand words in the afternoon, picking the kids up from school and eating dinner with my family.
There are a few nights during the week when I pour alcohol for corporate events, weddings and other such things for extra money, but writing is my main gig.
Here’s how we were able to do all of this:
We’ve been in our new environment for 2 months, we have zero credit card debt bought a new house with money we’d saved and I’m able to work 2-3 days a week to supplement our income.
It helps that my wife has a great job, good health care plan and makes a decent amount each month. Without any of this we wouldn’t have been able to move.
I am now able to do what I want, spend time with my family and get out of the house a few nights a week.
After following the plan I’m able to be a mostly stay at home dad.
My wife works from home, so she doesn’t commute and when I’m doing the events she’s home with the kids.
You can truly do what you want if you have a plan.
Brian B Baker, Writer 