Why I Chose Uncertainty Over Fear.

When I decided to leave my job after 15 years, there were those who said, “You’ll be back” or “You won’t make it”.

These people were usually the same ones who lived in fear of something daily.

I didn’t listen to them, obviously.

I Listened to the other people. The ones who applauded me, those who cheered for one of their own doing something they all wish they could do, but for their own reasons (family, job and things out of their control) couldn’t do.

Each time someone made a comment about me leaving, I’d notice their tone, and what they said. I also took what I knew about their lives and considered where their words were coming from.

For the majority of them, they were sincere about wanting my happiness, but there’s always the haters. Those who could leave their life and prosper, but out of fear, they’re unable.

Each of these people had things they wanted out of life, but were unable to do.

And for each I wanted them to have a better life. One filled with the things they wanted, the future they deserved and their family deserved.

I also thought, what made me so special?

What made me it possible for me to get out?

You could say it was timing, and you’d be partially right, But still, why am I able to live the life I want, and the one I want for my family?

I didn’t fear the repercussions of my actions.

I didn’t think past the next step in my life.

I knew what I wanted and I went after it.

I reached a point when I faced the fear of uncertainty. I chose to ignore it and do what my heart wanted.

I still get those who applaud me for following my heart, and as for the others, their curiously silent.

Navigating the Waters of Who We Want to Be.

The more we fight who we are, the harder it becomes to resist the temptation to become that person.

Each new day comes and goes, but within those days the struggle within, the struggle to fight and move on and become the person we should be, that fight becomes more difficult.

The difficulty lies in having the time to digest the new person, peruse who they are and navigate through their mind.

Our digestion of this person is fought on all sides from outside sources. Family and friends are afraid of this person, they don’t know them and their discovery of who we want to be and what we truly want frightens them.

Our perusal of this person and what they represent to our lives is oftentimes destroyed by our glance within. We’ve fought hard to become that person, and the destruction of they’ve wrought leads us to a place we’re unfamiliar with and this scares the hell out of us, and it should, change should scare us.

Like Magellan, we move around the places we don’t want to be, dodging the Horn of Hate, ignoring the Straight of Lost Dreams, until we reach the place we’re supposed to be, sure there will be lost sailors along the way, there may even be lost ships, but reaching the new shore of who we are is worth traveling for.

Never Concede Greatness.

Never ConcedeFinding the truth about the life I have and the way I see myself has been the hardest thing I’ve had to do.

I see that there are people who’ve doubted me, who cursed me and called me names.

These people are no longer part of my life for a reason, and they’ll never be a part again.

I choose to live this life each day, with my goals in mind, with my wants for myself, my future and who I want to be.

Within me is the person I choose to be, the person that no one seemed to want, for they all said you can’t do it, you can’t be this person, I won’t let you.

Well, when you get to end of your life, what are you thankful for?

What have you truly done to be the person you want and not who others expect.

If there’s anything I regret about living in Las Vegas, it’s that I wanted to be something else, I wanted to be stronger, live better and desired to be a great person.

This greatness wasn’t for narcissism, it was for being thankful for a life I chose, a life I wanted and being the fucking person I wanted and saying the things I wanted.

I don’t blame people, I only blame myself for the lack of courage.

Growth within the soul comes when you’ve reached bottom and crawled out.

I’ve crawled out from the depths of despair and hated myself for getting there.

When I began my journey back, with TM (Transcendental Meditation) guiding my life. I never thought I’d have the courage to leave a job I hated. I never believed I’d change my life and that of my family for the sake of doing and being the person I always wanted to be.

As I crawled out I knew that I would be different and I knew i had to leave Las Vegas, if only to live my life my way and not be forced to live a life I didn’t want anymore.

We truly reach the peak of who we want to be when we’re tired of the bullshit, tired of being something we’re not and find within ourselves the perseverance and courage to face the darkness within.

I know who I am, I’m the comedian, the writer and I love to see people smile when they’re reading a book or laugh when I do a funny voice.

I’m tired of conceding to society and tired of people who want me to be something I’m not.

I refuse to concede my life to people who don’t know me, people who want me to conform the some idea of who they think I am.

If you’ve been away from me for a long time, like a lot of people have, you might not like me, but I don’t care.

I’ve become who I am being away from certain people and they’ll never be in my life again, not because I hate them, but because I life myself more that I love them.

How Progress Leads to Change, To Learning About Ourselves and Finally Discovery of Self.


Progress and its many smaller side effects, change, learning and discovering lead to who you are.

Change matters to those who want a better life for those around them and when they discover the way to achieve change, no matter what is going on in their lives, they learn that it’s been worth it.

The smaller moments they’ve had, learning to be the people they’ve become, because with change we often need to learn how to deal with the changed people we’ve become.

Learning about who we’ve become and discovering all the processes that entails. From the way we handle those around us, to the need to let others know we are different and that we’ve become someone else.

Learning these things, discovering the intricate ways our brain has adapted to the changes and how we deal with these processes, that is where the real progress begins.

We progress as far as we can through change and learning, but discovery is where the major things happen.

In discovery, we find that things are better than we believed, and possibly more involved with the world than we believed as well.

Discovery leads our lives in a direction that will give us new life.

This life makes us better, stronger and more involved in who we want to be.

Being this person and knowing that we’ve worked hard to progress to that stage of our life, it gives us hope that others can change and within that hope we’ll begin to help others progress.

Discovery of self helps us be the person we were always meant to be and helps us define who we want our future self to be.

The discovery of self demystifies the world around us. Leaving us open to experience the beauty around us without thought of why it’s beautiful only knowing that it is.

A Truck, A Move and Offering Prosperity to My Family.


The truck, its cargo area full of their life, caught gusts of wind every so often as it bounced along the freeway.

It wasn’t an escape as much as a parole or something similar.

They weren’t sure about how long things would take to get their new lives in order, they only knew that things had changed and for the better.

*

The above was what rolled through my mind this past week as we moved from our residence in Las Vegas arriving nearly 400 miles later at my mother-in-laws.

It was a move that had been coming for years, but a perfect compliment of things made the move possible and without delay, we set upon making it true.

Last summer my father-in-law became really sick and we’d come up just after the 4th to be with him, but we didn’t know how bad he was until he left us in November.

On our return trip last summer, my wife asked me a question, one which I wasn’t ready for.

“How would you feel about moving back to Utah?”

They were words I’d been waiting for, but never believed she’d say.

The job I’d had for 14 years had drained me. I’d become less of the person I wanted to be and had become a shell. The only thing that saved me last year was finding Transcendental Meditation (TM).

TM changed who I was and I became more positive about the future and where I wanted to be and with that, I knew I wanted my family to be somewhere else and with overt sexualization of women in Las Vegas I wanted my daughter to be raised somewhere better for her.

The plan was for me to find a job then move, but that isn’t how it went, because, you know, plans don’t work often.

I discovered there were those I worked with who didn’t believe that I’d leave, after all, I’d been there for 14 years and planned attempts to get out before, but this time felt different. I felt like my wife truly wanted this.

I turned in my notice at my job, something which felt amazing after working hard for a company that had stripped the staff, amenities and removed the good food we’d been served for years, giving us mostly sous vide food which was less quality than we’d had before.

Now that we’ve moved, our kids are adjusting daily, as are we, but I know there are others who want to leave, but are unable because of one reason or another.

I say to them, when the opportunity presents itself, grasp it, hold on to it. It may feel hard to leave a job, friends and relationships you’ve built, but a better life for you and your family is more important than any monetary gains you’d get by staying.

Piece of mind is the greatest gift this move has given me.

I no longer worry about what I’ll find arriving at work, or the type of drama I’ll be forced to listen to.

What is the most important thing to me, are my kids, wife and being able to do the things they need to prosper in this world.

Prosperity in their lives gives me unfathomable peace when I sleep.

Now, back to living the life I want, not the one I’m forced into.

Bri