Tag Archives: Fiction

A beginning and an endpoint.

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When I started writing I felt lost.

I didn’t know how to do this thing.

For years I wrote like my favorite authors. I thought if they can do it by the seat of their pants, why can’t I?

What I really learned is that you have to be honest with yourself about the craft.

Are you getting rejections because of how you write?

I hadn’t thought about this until after I wrote nine books.

I believed that my writing as it was should be good enough to get published. That wasn’t the case.

The truth is, the story meandered through each chapter never finding a true foothold(even after subsequent drafts).

It was only after I thought of quitting that I started to really think about outlining.

When you’re at the bottom and you feel lost, you have to try something different.

I was fearful of outlining because I’d tried it before. It was when I was new to having the time to write and I wanted to get it on the page as fast as possible.

I only wanted to see words on the page.

It hurt to have to take a step back and reevaluate what I wrote, how I wrote, and why I wrote.

All of this was difficult and hard on my ego but I want to be published more than anything.

When you want something bad enough and what you’re doing isn’t working you have to fix it.

I fixed it!

The hardest things are always the most difficult, but also the most rewarding in the end.

Slow and steady.

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Over the past three weeks I’ve done something I never thought possible.

I took it slow with a draft.

I always ran out of the gate madly typing as fast as I can. I had to get the story down before it was gone.

Then I realized that the stories I’d been writing weren’t of the quality I wanted them to be.

So I’ve been going through this one as slow as I can. Making sure everything is where it should be.

It’s hard to do this. Damn hard!

I’ve never done it this way and that makes it all the more difficult.

Now that I’m outlining, the writing and the world I’m building are coming in more clearly.

I’m going to keep going, even if I don’t know where the story is going right now, I will have it in an outline to look at.

I hope you all have a pleasant weekend.

My family and I are going to Oktoberfest at Snowbird resort in Utah this weekend and my wife and I are seeing IT: Chapter Two tonight.

There’s this thing about outlines…

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I always wondered why outlines work for some people but not for me.

I think I cracked the code.

I had a story idea that’s been floating around for a while, six weeks something like that.

A week and a half ago I got out my notebook and started plotting.

I’ve never enjoyed it until this last week and I figured out why.

Before I’d always had either a finished draft or a few chapters written.

This time, I let it breathe. Gave it some room and sat back and let my mind wander on the story.

What I’ve found is I’m pretty good at it and it’s a hell of a lot of fun.

I’m still working through the outline and hope to start drafting in October

I’m not sure I’ve ever had this much fun writing.

I’m still doing the same thing(discovering the story) but it’s more intricate and I feel better about what the final product will be.

It’s going good and I’m having fun.

Outlining and playing Warcraft Classic

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Outlining and getting things done. That’s all I can think of to write, oh, and there’s this little game called World of Warcraft Classic, that may be the reason this is shorter than my regular posts, but nah.

Anyway, have a good weekend and get things done. I’m bartending this weekend and making some Jerk chicken in the smoker on Monday for Labor Day.

Writing for you, skipping out, and gathering in a storm.

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After writing Monday’s post I thought more about the person I write for.

The kid whose parents don’t let them read what they want, the twenty-something writer that only wants to get their foot in the door, the writer and reader I am today.

The kid is the easiest to write for because without restrictions they can read anything.

The twenty-something is a bit more difficult because they want they’re writing to mean something, but they also want to have fun while writing.

The writer and reader I am today is the most difficult.

They’re the person in the mirror and I feel unsure about how to help that person.

Do I write something truly terrifying that maybe an agent may enjoy, or do I write something just to say I have something published?

I think this conundrum bears further exploration and may lead my writing to better places.

It’s difficult for me to write things where it’s truly terrifying because I still worry about judgment. I know I shouldn’t because in the end it’s my name on the book and not the judgmental person but I still worry.

There’s this thing running through my head where I see everyone judging me based upon what I write. It’s the main reason it took me so long to stick with horror.

I’m a dark soul, I always have been. And in that darkness I find solace, peace, and freedom.

It’s why I struggle with depression. It’s why I’ve struggled with alcohol(1 month 4 days sober today)and it’s why I need to just say fuck it and write the darkest and most disturbing story I can.

In that story I feel I’ll find the person who should be writing these stories instead of the person pretending to write.

When I write I feel the world stops. When I write it’s like a dream and I’m within the construct of the world.

Without that edging of my dreams I’d be lost and without the writing and darkness I’d never find my way out.

I keep writing and this time I’ll go the darkest I can and see what slithers out of the nether. It’s in the darkest recesses the writer I know I’m meant to be is hiding.

He’s only afraid to make and entrance.

It’s in the bleakest of moments and darkest of storms we find ourselves.

The storm is still there, it hasn’t passed. I believe it’s only waiting for my decision.