Why I Felt Guilty About Following My Dream.

As a writer you reach a point in your life where you either have to figure a way to keep writing or give up on it.

This often happens when you’re close to reaching your goal of publication, but you’re unaware of that.

Throughout my life I’ve told stories of one manner or another. I told them to people so they’d think I was interesting, to myself so I’d like me and to my parents so they’d think I was a good kid.

I learned through those stories that I love to create characters from nothing and that with them I could do anything, but something stopped me on the way.

I felt insecure about my writing, which happens often to writers. Something Amanda Palmer has called the fraud police.

At some point I thought people would accuse me of not supporting my family in the “traditional way” and this led me to wonder whether I should keep writing.

In my early twenties, a friend who knew that I loved to write said I should write a book. So I did, a horrible, awfully constructed vampire book.

What I learned from that book is that finishing a book was possible and that I really enjoyed it, then the fraud police showed up in the form of someone else and I stopped writing as much.

It was after I started writing again and finished another book I felt the fraud police again, in the same form as the last time.

I stopped writing for a while, again and fell into a deep depression which I’ve talked about here, which led me to transcendental meditation and getting through my depression.

After I began TM I started writing again. Little bits at a time until I was ready to tackle something bigger.

The something bigger is the second novel I finished and I’m now in my third rewrite and fourth draft of it.

When my wife and I moved, with the promise of being able to write full-time and bartend part-time, I felt guilty about writing. Not because I was afraid of the fraud police, but because I wanted to follow my dream.

Following my dream of being a writer is something that’s haunted me for most of my adult life and I only now understand why.

I’m doing something most people can’t or won’t do. Follow their dream.

When we decide to follow our dreams and our life allows that possibility to creep in, we think we’re getting away with something, at least I do.

I see all my friends and I know they have dreams they want to follow, and some of them are, but there are others who I really want to help, but they’re so used to being in the life they have they’ve forgotten about the dreams they once had, and the fact that I’m able to follow my dream, makes me feel guilty.

Now that I’m getting past the guilt of following my dream and embracing it I understand who I once was as a writer and I love him because he allowed me to be who I am and create the worlds I love.


How Desire Creates The Possibility Of Your Dreams Them Coming True

Within the dream of who we are and who we want to be there is something else.

It keeps us wanting more, sometimes it chases us away and then there are other times we live for the day it wants us more.

Desire is something we never think about, especially if we’re not chasing our dreams.

Desire to want more, the desire to stay with those we’ve known for years and then there’s the times we want more out of life.

The dream keeps us going, but the true desire to follow the dream and become the person we knew we could be, that is what life is for, isn’t it?

What we do with our life, and whether we have the true desire to move away, follow our heart and become something else – that, that one thing, that is completely what life is about.

I’ve seen people defeated and giving up on their dreams because their desire is lost. That feeling of, “I’ll never make it” or of “It’s hopeless, I have too many commitments”.

Those things are why you should seek out desire.

When you give up on your dreams, everyone around you sees it, they feel the loss. They may not say anything, but they were hoping for your dreams too. They wanted you to follow your dreams, because that means it’s possible and that just maybe, they can do it too.

Your desire to succeed is fueled by dreams of a better life, of following your heart and of doing the one thing that keeps you awake at night.

You desire to be better, and that’s enough.

Six Things I’ve Done to Create my Dream Reality.

We venture in to the world, our hearts full of dreams, our minds full of doubts, but there’s always that one dream.

The one we have that pushes us to go farther, try harder and not accept anything other than the dream as our reality.

These dreams make us question who we are, what we truly want out of our lives, whether we want to continue on our current path and the decisions we must make to create the dream as our reality.

One year ago I began searching for who I was and discovered him in the dreams I was having, and continue to have.

He was stronger, more disciplined, more loving of his family, helped people in need and he was a writer.

There are things I’ve done in the last year to be that person.

  1. I spend more time with my family than I ever have.
  2. I started keeping track of things I’ve done during the day to make myself and those around me better people.
  3. I made a list of where I wanted to be in 10 years and started working towards it.
  4. I realized how much I truly loved my wife and began to prove to her I’d changed.
  5. I knew what I wanted to write and started creating the world for my characters.
  6. I stopped listening to the haters and began listening to like-minded people who wanted to change their world and help others.

Each of these 6 things have changed the way I think about who I am, what I do with my life on a daily basis, but that dream I had, well…it’s one of those you wake up from stare at the world around us and know that you can change things.

Change brings about angst and fear, but by meeting fear head on we’re able to create the world we want for ourselves our partners and those around us.

Writing and the Things of Dreams.



Getting through your nights and days, you stare at the things you wish to do, the lives you wish to live and the projects you wish to write.

Through different thoughts our mind comes through in the worst way.

We only see certain things. We only exist in certain places and in all our journeys we laugh at the things even our mind sees.

What happens when we see the life coming at us?

You know the one. We see it in our dreams, but it’s always too far off to grasp.

Within our dreams we see the world differently, this is because our dreams suspend the reality which our subconscious hides while we’re awake.

Tapping into the reality within our dreams is the true way to write what our heart wants, and it will bring out the writing which will make things seem different.

Our journey is to get through this life, find out as much as we can, move on to whatever comes next and gain more knowledge.

Maybe in our next life we can live our dreams?

The truth is, why should we wait until after death, when we could do it right now, in this life?

Life comes at us in different directions and keeps us guessing, this is why we dream.

A suspension of belief happens. We’re free to do what we need, and free to see what only our mind sees.

This discovery will make your writing better, keep your mind sharp and dress your stories in a way which will baffle you.

Keep writing and don’t forget, write down your dreams and tap into the reality of your mind.