Tag Archives: creativity

Disconnected

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The most difficult part of figuring out what I’m going to write is considering where I’d like to go. Do I want to be challenged? Do I need something else?

I found writing Disunion easy. Writing horror and getting it correct, that feels difficult. I’d rather challenge myself than not.

I’m working on a collection with a theme but and idea that came to me last night may change that.

I’m going back to horror knowing that I have a lot of work to do. This is not going to be easy but I’ll keep my head down and keep going.

Have a pleasant Monday.

Changing a few things…

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I’ve debated over the last few weeks about my novel, Disunion By Force. I enjoyed writing it, editing it, and working on the cover, but I think it’s ran its course.

I hoped it would do well but I hasn’t. I’ll be pulling it from publication soon. I have copies of it so I can sell those. When they’re gone it will exist only for me and those who’ve read it.

I could have done things differently with the book. I should have left the original ending, shouldn’t have changed other things, but it’s done. I’m a better writer for growing through it.

Here’s where the change begins. I’ll be focusing solely on horror in writing and submitting. I learned that unless the people you talk to regularly read what you’re writing it will fail. Most of the people I talk to regularly are in the horror genre.

As Disunion goes away I’ll be pulling my collection from Amazon as well. That’s for other reasons and it’s something I meant to do a while ago.

I’m having trouble writing but I’m working my way through those issues.

I hope you all have a pleasant week, Brian

A New Fork In The Road

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I’ve always believed there are moments in our lives where we can go one direction and it leads to something easy, or another direction and it will be harder but worth it.

I’ve often taken the easier road. It’s hard to digest that I’ve done that, but looking back at my life, I’ve usually taken the easier road.

I don’t know why I’ve done this. I think it has to do with my childhood, but that could be me placing blame where I should accept my failings.

I know the road ahead is fraught with terrible worries. I know where I’m headed will be difficult and I’ll be mostly on my own, again.

Being on my own and doing things for myself has always been my out. It’s always led me to a better place. I know my writing is good. I’ve compared it to many stories I’ve read lately, and I know it’s good. I don’t know why it’s not doing well.

I’ve reached a point, the fork in the road. I can continue writing or stop altogether. I’ve considered the latter quite often lately.

I know what I have to do to get over it. I know where I have to go. I understand all that this journey will entail. It won’t be easy, but I no longer have a choice.

Let’s get it done. Move forward.

What’s going on?

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I’ve dealt with my stomach issues over the last few months, but that’s not what this post is about.

After I had my initial visit with my doctor, I asked to be put on anti-depressant/anxiety medication. If you’ve read this blog for a while you understand my reasons for that; now I’ve run into a problem.

I started taking the medicine in November and I haven’t written a word since. I don’t feel like writing, reading, or watching anything with my wife. A malaise settled in over my life. One that I’m not comfortable with. Writing and books are where I get the most enjoyment. They’ve always been my safe space. Not writing feels worse than depression.

I’m not cured of depression. That doesn’t happen. I understand that the medicine takes away the depression and the lows in causes. It’s also taking away my desire to work. I get to my desk every morning and stare at a blank screen. I may write something but I delete it later because I’m not interested in what I’ve put down.

I usually start exercising to help with my depression issues. I don’t want to do that either.

I’m going off the medication to see if that fixes this. I can’t live without writing. It’s causing me more mental issues than it’s solving.

I had wanted to publish this year. I don’t desire that either. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t posted here.

Anyway, I’ll let you know how it goes.

Back to work

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There are many clouds over my head as I write this. I feel their showers, their thunder, and I’m waiting for their lightning strikes.

I’m writing from my desk as I construct a new project from my wife’s dream. I can’t give the details, but it intrigues me, and while she’s given me permission to construct something from it, I will stray into something darker than I’ve done before.

The factors of the dream are not what will make it terrifying. It’s the elements I intend to add.

This is where I dig into what I’ve been doing since my last post.

Over the last few weeks, I finished the exercises in Writing In The Dark Workbook. This book has changed how I create without completely diving into the exercises.

I have thought about sharing my response to the exercises, but I’ve created too many beginnings for stories, and I want to keep them to myself.

I will say this about the two books, yes, there are two. The first is Writing In The Dark, based on Tim’s articles. The second is Writing In The Dark: The Workbook, and you will do some work.

This book makes you look at your writing in a new way. It did with me, at least. I feel I’ve found a way to create an outline with a horror novel.

I’ve never found a way that actually works for me. I’ve always written horror as a pantser. It’s when I write thrillers that I’m able to create an outline. After finishing the workbook I feel more confident in my writing, which I’ve struggled with for a long time.

Moving forward, I will revisit this workbook with every project.

I have to get to the editing on my thriller novel this week. I will be submitting that to agents in the next couple of months. I still have a novella out on submission. It has been over a year, but I’m holding out for it. I love the story. It would be great for it to be picked up.

I will see you next time.