I’m a firm believer that there are markers in our journey through life. That we reach a fork in the road and we can take the easy route or the hard one.
I refer to these moments as waypoints.
They are particular moments of decision.
Like waypoints in video games, they are either where we can continue the journey or stop and do something else.
For too long I’ve fought against the journey, taken the easy road. It’s either been through alcohol to numb my senses or through straight up asshole attitude.
But I’ve begun to learn from all the times I took the easy route.
There are maybe two times in my life that I believe I’ve taken the difficult path.
When I started dating my wife and when we moved our family to Utah.
I’ve thought about these moments quite a bit as I follow the path of sobriety.
What I’ve learned is I either haven’t tried hard enough or it did things out of fear.
Fear of rejection, fear of failure, and biggest of all for me, fear of abandonment.
That last one is bitch. I’ve felt like a lot of people abandoned me at one point or another for various reasons.
My wife is the only one whose stood by me through my alcoholism, my temper, my assholishness, and the mental breakdown I had in 6 years ago.
I’m getting to a point where I’m comfortable talking about these things. And I consider that the biggest breakthrough in my life.
There are still things I’m not ready to talk about publicly, but I am writing all of them down.
I hope you’re all doing well and that you’re following the path for you.
My path was constructed for who I am. Don’t let anyone say your path isn’t the right one. I listened to that shit for too long and it got me nothing but pain.
I’ve reached a new waypoint and it’s a difficult one.