Never Concede Greatness.

Never ConcedeFinding the truth about the life I have and the way I see myself has been the hardest thing I’ve had to do.

I see that there are people who’ve doubted me, who cursed me and called me names.

These people are no longer part of my life for a reason, and they’ll never be a part again.

I choose to live this life each day, with my goals in mind, with my wants for myself, my future and who I want to be.

Within me is the person I choose to be, the person that no one seemed to want, for they all said you can’t do it, you can’t be this person, I won’t let you.

Well, when you get to end of your life, what are you thankful for?

What have you truly done to be the person you want and not who others expect.

If there’s anything I regret about living in Las Vegas, it’s that I wanted to be something else, I wanted to be stronger, live better and desired to be a great person.

This greatness wasn’t for narcissism, it was for being thankful for a life I chose, a life I wanted and being the fucking person I wanted and saying the things I wanted.

I don’t blame people, I only blame myself for the lack of courage.

Growth within the soul comes when you’ve reached bottom and crawled out.

I’ve crawled out from the depths of despair and hated myself for getting there.

When I began my journey back, with TM (Transcendental Meditation) guiding my life. I never thought I’d have the courage to leave a job I hated. I never believed I’d change my life and that of my family for the sake of doing and being the person I always wanted to be.

As I crawled out I knew that I would be different and I knew i had to leave Las Vegas, if only to live my life my way and not be forced to live a life I didn’t want anymore.

We truly reach the peak of who we want to be when we’re tired of the bullshit, tired of being something we’re not and find within ourselves the perseverance and courage to face the darkness within.

I know who I am, I’m the comedian, the writer and I love to see people smile when they’re reading a book or laugh when I do a funny voice.

I’m tired of conceding to society and tired of people who want me to be something I’m not.

I refuse to concede my life to people who don’t know me, people who want me to conform the some idea of who they think I am.

If you’ve been away from me for a long time, like a lot of people have, you might not like me, but I don’t care.

I’ve become who I am being away from certain people and they’ll never be in my life again, not because I hate them, but because I life myself more that I love them.

A Truck, A Move and Offering Prosperity to My Family.


The truck, its cargo area full of their life, caught gusts of wind every so often as it bounced along the freeway.

It wasn’t an escape as much as a parole or something similar.

They weren’t sure about how long things would take to get their new lives in order, they only knew that things had changed and for the better.

*

The above was what rolled through my mind this past week as we moved from our residence in Las Vegas arriving nearly 400 miles later at my mother-in-laws.

It was a move that had been coming for years, but a perfect compliment of things made the move possible and without delay, we set upon making it true.

Last summer my father-in-law became really sick and we’d come up just after the 4th to be with him, but we didn’t know how bad he was until he left us in November.

On our return trip last summer, my wife asked me a question, one which I wasn’t ready for.

“How would you feel about moving back to Utah?”

They were words I’d been waiting for, but never believed she’d say.

The job I’d had for 14 years had drained me. I’d become less of the person I wanted to be and had become a shell. The only thing that saved me last year was finding Transcendental Meditation (TM).

TM changed who I was and I became more positive about the future and where I wanted to be and with that, I knew I wanted my family to be somewhere else and with overt sexualization of women in Las Vegas I wanted my daughter to be raised somewhere better for her.

The plan was for me to find a job then move, but that isn’t how it went, because, you know, plans don’t work often.

I discovered there were those I worked with who didn’t believe that I’d leave, after all, I’d been there for 14 years and planned attempts to get out before, but this time felt different. I felt like my wife truly wanted this.

I turned in my notice at my job, something which felt amazing after working hard for a company that had stripped the staff, amenities and removed the good food we’d been served for years, giving us mostly sous vide food which was less quality than we’d had before.

Now that we’ve moved, our kids are adjusting daily, as are we, but I know there are others who want to leave, but are unable because of one reason or another.

I say to them, when the opportunity presents itself, grasp it, hold on to it. It may feel hard to leave a job, friends and relationships you’ve built, but a better life for you and your family is more important than any monetary gains you’d get by staying.

Piece of mind is the greatest gift this move has given me.

I no longer worry about what I’ll find arriving at work, or the type of drama I’ll be forced to listen to.

What is the most important thing to me, are my kids, wife and being able to do the things they need to prosper in this world.

Prosperity in their lives gives me unfathomable peace when I sleep.

Now, back to living the life I want, not the one I’m forced into.

Bri

Struggle, Depression and Climbing from the Rabbit Hole.

Our struggle to survive is equaled by whether we feel we should.

At times of great struggle we’re bent in half, struggling to discover why we’re in a dark place, why we hate ourselves and how to get out of the darkness.

The struggle is helped only by having people around us who understand what we’re going through, otherwise we’re left to our own meager defenses.

These defenses, though sometimes great, are no match for the darkness which proceeds to swallow us whole. This entire struggle, seems determines to sink who we are, take away our lives and leave us asking why.

The why of the struggle is the greatest determiner for how we got to that point. We don’t see the small things, the little pieces of who we are and only see the larger pieces, the big things which led us to this point.

But, it’s the smaller pieces. The moments of struggle which have led us farther down the rabbit hole and have left us scrambling to crawl from the rabbit hole, scathed, broken and scarred.

The scars of the struggle, physical of mental could last for months, possibly forever, but getting through the fight, standing at the opening of the hole and being alive, that is the greatest struggle.

Getting to that point of the struggle leads us to salvation and to getting better, but we often must seek help to get better.

Seeking help doesn’t mean we’re weak, it only means we couldn’t go the path alone any longer.

Good luck, and have a great week.

Bri

Lead yourself to where you want to be.

We often see the person in the mirror as a differnt person than the one we’re living with.

We don’t see the person others see.

We ignore the accolades, pats on the back and the well dones.

We think that something may be wrong with these people. They can’t be talking about us, they don’t see us that way, they must some sort of defect.

What if we get past that and see ourselves as better than what we think of who we are? What then?

When we get past the doubt, hate and hurt of who we think we are and delve into the world of what everyone else sees, then we’ll be structuring our lives for better things.

Each day we have a voice in our head, but we can choose to ignore the doubt in our head and push through to the next moment.

Each moment in our lives is something we accept or ignore. 

If we accept the torture of hating who we are we’re finished, but if we choose to believe those around us, we can live the life we were always meant to live.

If you’re not living the life you want, what’s stopping you?

Why do you listen to the voice in your head?

Remember you control what happens in your life. You alone control the puppet strings.

Which way will you lead yourself? To greatness or mediocrity?

A Work In Progress

This is a guest post from my wife. She’s been practicing TM for three and a half weeks.

The Phoenix

When people make changes in their lives they often point to a breaking point, a specific incident that made them decide to make a change. For me, however, learning Transcendental Meditation (TM) is not about experiencing a breaking point, but about realizing I could no longer accept the person I had become.

Although I experienced some depression when I was younger, I was always able to overcome those feelings.

As an adult, I’ve had a difficult time doing this, and have been on and off various medications for the past six or seven years. I came to accept that not much made me happy even though I have a wonderful husband, who tells me how he feels more often than I probably hear, and two kids who love to play and laugh. Even painting and drawing that I used to love, would sit untouched for months because I didn’t find joy and satisfaction in it.

Over the past year, I’ve seen what TM has done for my husband, but kept telling myself that there was no way it would help me. After all, everything else I’ve tried has only been a short-term band-aid.

I have been doing TM for three and a half weeks, and can say I am starting to notice how 20 minutes twice a day can change how you view yourself, your relationships with others, and the world around you. Although I still take my medication, TM is helping me in ways a pill has.

I’ve been able to enjoy the time I have with my family. I don’t find myself getting as angry, or annoyed when my kids do something they should not do. I’m able to find the humor in things I previously ignored. Best of all, I feel better about myself, and who I am, than I have most of my adult life.

Everything is a work in progress, but with TM my hopes and expectations for the future are positive for the first time.