Category Archives: motivation

Getting comfortable

Posted on by
Reply

I have a tendency to stop just before things happen.

With my writing I’ll be doing good, then I back off. I don’t know why but I do.

I get into a comfortable mindset and forget that I’m supposed to be working. I’m supposed to be writing.

I told myself it wouldn’t happen again, and it hasn’t.

Something else has.

I’ve hit a point in my writing where the world I’m creating feels lived in. Feels real and it scares the hell out of me.

It’s the opposite of being comfortable, maybe.

There’s no fear but an absence of worry. I know I’ll get the project done on time. I understand where it needs to go and I’m finally comfortable with it.

I write these stories because the premise intrigues me.

I keep going with them because I made myself a promise to do it.

When I left Las Vegas four years ago I gave myself 5 years to publish a book. At the time it felt realistic.

In the next two months I’ll be doing exactly that.

The book isn’t perfect but I enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it.

I’ll have more about that soon. But it will be wide and I hope you enjoy it.

Not sure what’s wrong…wait…

Posted on by
Reply

Yesterday I got stuck.

It’s the outline. It’s the following the outline, it trying to remain rigid with the outline and the whole thing makes me want to toss all of the 18,000 words I’ve written.

But I won’t.

I’m past doing those kinds of things.

I don’t act out in anger I think about what’s wrong and try to rectify it.

But I’m kind of to the point I wonder whether I did something wrong at some point.

I love the story and I’m trying to wrap my head around what’s gone wrong.

The truth is, I know what it is. I understand why it’s happening but it frustrates the hell out of me anyway.

I know the outline is messing with my head. I know it’s making me write things that aren’t where I want the story to go, but I continue with it because I promised myself I would use an outline.

I think those days are passed.

I’ll use it as a base but will write whatever the hell I want.

Thanks for coming to my therapy session.

The definition of happiness…

Posted on by
Reply

For a long time I thought happiness meant the car, the house, the good job.

I stopped thinking that way a while ago.

For me happiness is seeing my wife and kids every day, during daylight hours, sitting and talking with my son and goofing off with him.

It’s my daughter telling me about her dolls, My Little Pony, and what she did in school.

It’s enjoying the things I took for granted.

I took my wife for granted. I expected she’d always be there. There were times when I think about it now, that I was an ass with her and if she’d have left I would’ve deserved it.

It’s about enjoying the life I have and not caring what others think about that life.

It’s about not caring what others think about your life. It’s what you think about it.

It’s taken me a long time to understand this.

I would rather have the life I have. The struggle to pay bills while I write. The late nights bartending, and the mornings where I know the day will be a struggle.

My life isn’t perfect but I love everything about it.

When it’s fun…

Posted on by
Reply

With the passing days, word counts, and life, I find that in pushing harder to get where I want to be, I approach my goals.

I’m writing things that once terrified me.

And it’s not because I write horror.

It’s because the subject matter. The way it’s coming out is defiant of my former self.

I write to make people think.

I write because I love the terrifying parts of the stories.

I continue each day because of those little moments when I catch myself writing.

I’ll look back at the prose and think, “damn, that was good. Keep going like that.”

Those are the moments I relish.

You get to a point you watch your words and think it’s cool and I need to replicate that.

I enjoy writing most when that happens.

Fear & Loathing…and writing.

Posted on by
Reply

This week I’ve given into my fears.

I wrote without worry. Making sure to give myself the space I needed. The time I needed and allowed myself to screw up.

All of these have given me more peace in my writing than I’ve felt in a long time.

I finally feel like I don’t have to worry about the way the story is going, even if I feel it’s going off the rails.

I’ll make a note of it and keep writing.

There used to be this feeling of loathing when that what happen.

I’d think, “oh shit, I’ll have to fix that”, and stress over it. This week I haven’t done that.

Every word of the draft has been good and I feel it’s moving in the right direction.

Today I’ll get some set up things done. Make some l headway on certain items, and get the story rolling.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

I’ll be bartending today and tomorrow, but Sunday, we’re going to the state fair.

My wife and daughter have paintings entered in the fair.