We reach the world, cross the oceans and still there is nothing but gulls, laughter and the monotony of the world around us.
It suffocates, smothers and eliminates the breath.
Monotony is the greatest killer of creativity. It takes the best of us, covers it in petrol and lights it.
In the world we have, monotony makes us docile. It makes us easy to kill and in the end, we will be killed, we will die and the monotony will take us deeper into the cavern of loss.
Today, we went to Brio at Fashion Place Mall. It was something to remind us of Vegas and it’s a place our kids always enjoy.
We went in expecting a good meal and came out with something else, hope.
We’ve struggled financially since our move and we’ve been trying to make ends meet have a good Christmas .
My wife works full-time and I’m trying to get a book published and bartend on the side to make ends meet.
Today, after we ordered our appetizer and drinks, the waitress came over and told us someone was paying for our meal and that we should order whatever we want.
I tried not to cry.
While we’ve struggled to make ends meet, I’ve gone hungry and I’m sure my wife has as well so our kids could eat.
I haven’t been able to help as much financially as I had hoped when we first moved and money has been tight.
To the person who paid for our meal today, thank you so much.
Your gift has meant so much to my wife and I.
Merry Christmas,
Brian and Anita
I’ve been circling the pit lately.
I hear the voices from within its muddy walls and the world stops.
I get those panicked breaths and I wonder what’s brought it on.
Staring down from my cliff, waiting for the tendrils to pull me in I wait on the rim.
I wait for something worse to happen, I wait for a lost job, a tragedy to befall my loved ones where the tendrils pull me back.
I feel the pillow over my face suffocating that smothers the life I want and takes away the life I have.
I stand at the rim looking in, hoping for something to bring me back.
But as the tendrils reach I put words on the page, for that’s my only solace.
The words count at the end of the day and the fight back the monsters.
The words push me away from the rim, away from the tendrils as their claws rip at the muddy precipice of the pit.
For the last week I’ve gotten away from what this blog is supposed to be about, Transcending the delusions we deal with on a daily basis.
I will start doing that again.
Life comes at us and kicks our ass, it throttles us in ways we couldn’t have imagined, this last week did that.
It throttled me. I took a beating and today, I’ll be moving forward.
I won’t stop the fight, only the rhetoric and how I’ll be fighting.
The words on this page are meant to inspire, not to scare.
I forgot that with the election’s results.
I was reminded today that the moments we have can change in an instant.
I had lunch with my daughter and listened to her friends and their lives.
The lives they deal with reminded me that our lives are precious and that every moment defines who we are.
In the future, I won’t let you down.
I’m working on the edits for a book that I plan to release on Amazon in January. I’m also writing one that I want to publish in June.
Both of these are what I left my job in Las Vegas for and why we moved our kids.
I’m a full-time writer, I make no money at it, but writing has always been about the words to me. Would I love to get paid for it, of course, but for now, I’ll be writing and publishing myself.
It’s been a week since the election of the incoming administration, and in that time there’s been more racial violence than after 9/11.
If we’re to thrive in the next four years, here is what we must do:
These are what I’ve come up with over the last week. If you can add something, reply in the comments and I’ll add it to the list.
My daughter’s friends are Latina and I know they’re scared. I know there are a lot of kids that are scared, but remember their parents are trying to put on a good face and make light of it, help them if they need help.
Don’t normalize hate.
Brian B Baker, Writer 