Let’s be honest.

I’m really having trouble with this outline stuff.

Having written one way the last 14 years or so, and suddenly trying to write with an outline is fucking hard. Like a lot harder than I expected it to be.

It’s starting to affect my mental health.

Last week I joined a local gym because I like throwing heavy weights around and I didn’t have enough of them in my house.

I’m using it to handle the stress of trying to outline and make the story better.

But truthfully I’m using it because I quit drinking a couple of weeks ago.

I used alcohol as a crutch so many times in my life. I got to the point when things would go south at home I’d reach for a bottle, do a shot, or two and act like I didn’t.

I haven’t written anything new in a couple of weeks as well. I know it doesn’t have to do with the alcohol but more with my overall mental state.

Writing gets things out. It always has. It is my way to comment on life, politics, and the world.

I know that’s what it is more than anything.

I strayed from writing those things because I felt I had to write something else.

I hate that I did that but glad I’m aware of it.

Awareness is important when you’re dealing with stress and your mental state. Sometimes they go hand-in-hand.

I understand outlining is where my writing process needs to go and I’ll go there but it’s on my terms.

And my mental health is more important than a story.

Take care of yourselves. Get some extra rest, do one thing this week that makes enjoy life.