The Effort it takes…

There are those who say that we don’t put enough effort into the things we want. They haven’t lived our lives.

People don’t understand where we’ve been.

There isn’t a VR for that, yet.

What we can do is push towards our goals,

We can contribute to the world around us by writing, creating, living, enjoying, and thriving.

Pushing towards our goals, regardless of whether there is a choice in our lives don’t matter.

What matters is how we make people feel.

It matters when you say good morning to someone. It matters when you call your parents after not talking to them. Sure, you can text them, but calling them, they love that.

Make your way towards what you want.

Let life set a path for you and follow it until you attain your goals.



The Way it Happens.

Life is the way the world happens to us.

There are little markers along the way. Sometimes those markers aren’t what we want them to be.

There are those who it be the marker to be success in business. And then there are those who say they want the marker to be a family. But none of it is in our control.

We like to think that we control the world, but that’s not the truth. The truth is we’re floating around on a big blue and green mudball and we have no control.

Sure, we can choose to go to college, date a certain person, but whose to say those things weren’t supposed to happen.

That’s the funny thing about life, fate, choice and who we live our lives.

Sure, we can say we make choices but are they preordained?

This is a puzzle we’ve been trying to work over since the beginning.

Are we in control of our lives or is there something else dealing the cards?

No one wants to think they’re not in control of their lives, but I don’t think we are.

Whatever controls us, a God, Fate or something else, they have a plan for where we’re supposed to go, when we’re supposed to go there.

I have to believe that.

We may work towards the way we want our life to be, but we don’t know it’s supposed to be that way. It’s only in our belief that it occurs.

We have to believe so strongly that our belief becomes our life.


Faith, journeys, ​and progressions

Every day we have the opportunity to solve our problems.

We have a chance to stand out in the world for who we are, what we want and whether we’re going to do what’s needed to accomplish our goals.

Today, I sit in a better place than I’ve been in a long time.

I still struggle with depression, though its no longer a constant.

In the past, I would blame others for my failings. I would stoke fires of hatred towards those who I believe wronged me.

In this life, our journey’s and endings are determined by how hard we work for what we want.

I never thought about working hard enough to achieve my goals. I never understood what it would require.

There were times when I’d have little glimpses of what I thought it required. Those glimpses allowed me to narrow my focus.

Understanding the journey and the faith it required in myself created a radical change in how I approach my writing, life, and daily challenges.

I use to hide from what I wanted. Expecting it because I believed I deserved it.

Nothing comes to those with those beliefs. The only way to get what you want is to work your ass off.

Today, I understand that faith in myself and my writing will bring m to where I want to be.

I understand the journey I’ve been on has led me to this place.

I believe the progress I’ve made in recreating who I want to be has made all of the above possible.

We can get through life without failing ourselves. We can understand that our faith will guide us to where we are required.

Somewhere in the middle of all of it, we’ll reach the place where we’re needed.

Never Concede Greatness.

Never ConcedeFinding the truth about the life I have and the way I see myself has been the hardest thing I’ve had to do.

I see that there are people who’ve doubted me, who cursed me and called me names.

These people are no longer part of my life for a reason, and they’ll never be a part again.

I choose to live this life each day, with my goals in mind, with my wants for myself, my future and who I want to be.

Within me is the person I choose to be, the person that no one seemed to want, for they all said you can’t do it, you can’t be this person, I won’t let you.

Well, when you get to end of your life, what are you thankful for?

What have you truly done to be the person you want and not who others expect.

If there’s anything I regret about living in Las Vegas, it’s that I wanted to be something else, I wanted to be stronger, live better and desired to be a great person.

This greatness wasn’t for narcissism, it was for being thankful for a life I chose, a life I wanted and being the fucking person I wanted and saying the things I wanted.

I don’t blame people, I only blame myself for the lack of courage.

Growth within the soul comes when you’ve reached bottom and crawled out.

I’ve crawled out from the depths of despair and hated myself for getting there.

When I began my journey back, with TM (Transcendental Meditation) guiding my life. I never thought I’d have the courage to leave a job I hated. I never believed I’d change my life and that of my family for the sake of doing and being the person I always wanted to be.

As I crawled out I knew that I would be different and I knew i had to leave Las Vegas, if only to live my life my way and not be forced to live a life I didn’t want anymore.

We truly reach the peak of who we want to be when we’re tired of the bullshit, tired of being something we’re not and find within ourselves the perseverance and courage to face the darkness within.

I know who I am, I’m the comedian, the writer and I love to see people smile when they’re reading a book or laugh when I do a funny voice.

I’m tired of conceding to society and tired of people who want me to be something I’m not.

I refuse to concede my life to people who don’t know me, people who want me to conform the some idea of who they think I am.

If you’ve been away from me for a long time, like a lot of people have, you might not like me, but I don’t care.

I’ve become who I am being away from certain people and they’ll never be in my life again, not because I hate them, but because I life myself more that I love them.

Self Discovery, Las Vegas and New Adventures.


It’s only after we’ve discovered who we are that we’re able to understand the trials and triumphs that led us to our current position.

When I arrived in Las Vegas nearly 17 years ago, I had no money, I’d recently been kicked out of the house by my father and stepmother and I didn’t have a job.

My big sister and her family took me in, something I can never thank them enough for. If not for them I would have been living on the street, which is something I considered when my father kicked me out of the house.

Vegas, at that time, was booming and skeletons of future hotels lined the strip. 

Jobs were abundant, but only to those who had experience in a casino related field, which I didn’t.

It was before the corporate takeover of Las Vegas, when employees were treated well and they were looked at as people and not a number on a spreadsheet.

Each year I’ve been in Vegas has brought something new.

The first year I married my wife, the second we bought our house, but children, it took us five years until we were blessed with children, but that didn’t come easily either, much like finding work now.

Our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, but nearly a year later our son was born.

His life has been filled with all the things he could want, and possibly we’ve been too liberal with buying things, but when our daughter arrived 6 years later we learned how hard parenting could be.

Born 6 weeks early and weighing 3lbs 10 oz, she lived in an incubator for the first month of her life, but unlike some preemies, she’s been healthy otherwise.

Around the time our daughter was born, our life was in shambles. The economy crashed, we lost the house we’d loved, but everything has a silver lining, or so I’m told.

The house we’ve lived in since our daughter’s birth is bigger, but with that there were other things we were unable to do.

Somewhere along the way of being a good father and husband I forget to take care of myself and stopped caring about who I was and worried more about what others thought of me. This became evident last year when I suffered a breakdown and nearly took my own life.

For the past year I’ve been working on me and because of that I’ve tried to be better as a dad and husband.

When we leave Las Vegas I know I’ve made mistakes in the last 17 years, but for the last 16 months I’ve been trying to make up for those.

My journey of discovering who I am has been ongoing  for longer than I can say, but for little over a year I’ve come to grips with where I’ve screwed up and where I’ve prospered.

I’m looking forward to discovering more about who I am and who I’ll never be again. 

I’ll miss parts of our life in Las Vegas, but it’s time to start a new journey, a new life and see where the next adventure goes.