Category Archives: Writing

Changing Things

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This is a cross post from my Substack, where I’ll be posting more often.

I’ve been away from this place for a couple of months. I’ve been sorting things out in my head. It’s about deciding what way I’d like to take my writing.

It’s been a long time coming to get to this point. I love writing. I love writing what I enjoy reading. Let’s skip the BS and get to the nitty gritty.

Hello, I’m Brian. I’ve published horror novellas, short stories, and I have a story in the Utah Horror Writer’s Anthology for 2025.

I love horror stories. I love the darkness of the story. I love watching the movies and reading the books. But I’ve found my love of another genre, thrillers, has more pull with my writing and with who I am.

I watched a lot of horror as a kid. I was left alone often as a kid, as were most Gen X kids. I spent that time watching horror movies. I have the fondest of memories of watching Scanners for the first time only for my father to tell me not to watch it again. I did anyway.

I didn’t read horror until I was older. Horror books didn’t interest me. The movies always did. The first horror book I read was Four Past Midnight by Stephen King. I liked the stories in it but it didn’t hold my attention like other stories.

I spent quite a bit of time at the bookstore. My parents divorced when I was in third grade and I dove into books.

I owe my love of books to my father. He took my sister and I to the bookstore on his weekends. We’d get home and sit for a few hours and read, then dinner, and whatever movies we’d picked up at the video store.

I used to fault my father for only letting me read what he read. I read Tom Clancy’s Red Storm Rising in sixth grade and move of Tom’s books afterward.

I have fond memories of those books and I read many in that same genre.

My father didn’t let me read what I wanted to read. It always had to be the Tom Clancy style books.

I hated not reading what I wanted and took to hiding books in my closet, comics too.

I’m looking at 50 in few weeks. I love reading and watching horror but find that I’m not that good a writing them. My horror stories have sold less than my thriller, Disunion By Force. Which has sold 46 paperback copies and 51 digital copies.

Disunion is my best seller and it’s not even close. I’ve sold copies in Australia, France, Serbia, UK, Norway, New Zealand, and Germany, besides what I’ve sold in The States.

I’ve sold copies of my horror mainly in The States, but a few overseas.

I’ve realized that my thrillers are more popular and because of that I won’t be writing horror for a while. It’s less about sales and more about enjoyment and the process. Writing horror feels difficult. I’ve taken time off because I struggle writing horror.

My thriller writing comes easily. I’m able to outline, choreograph a beat sheet for an entire novel in a matter of days, but horror doesn’t come that way.

Every day feels like a challenge. Every time at the writing desk is hard.

I recently returned to a thriller novel I put away only to bust out 2,000 words without blinking. I’ve never been able to do that with anything horror related.

I love the horror community online. They’ve helped me figure out where I should put my focus.

I have plans for the next couple of years. I’ll be submitting my current project to agents. I’ve never submitted my thriller novels so I’m leery of it. I have plans for them regardless. I have 4-5 novels on deck in the next few years. I’ll be working on them.

If I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.

Review for Kill Your Darling by Clay McLeod Chapman

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Every parent thinks about what they’d do if they lost their kid. When they’re babies, we worry about whether they’re breathing in their cribs. When they’re toddlers, they get quiet in their rooms. We run to their room, and they’re usually asleep in a pile of toys or stuffed animals.

We lose sight of them when they get older, and we walk around the store. All the thoughts run through our heads. When they get to be teenagers and start driving or hanging out with friends, hell, in America, we worry about them not coming home at the end of the day because of a shooting.

That latter part is an everyday worry for me.

: SPOILERS AHEAD :

In Clay’s story, he takes the idea of losing your kid to violence and does a masterful job of following Glenn, our protagonist, through the stages of his life. Also, through the stages of grief.

Glenn feels the police have failed him and his son in discovering how he was killed.

His boy was left in a dirty, empty lot as a teenager.

Over the years, Glenn has done research and called whichever detective was assigned to the cold case, but he had a breakthrough when his wife urged him to join a writer’s group.

Glenn writes a story about his son’s death and how he believes it happened.

When he presents the story to the writer’s group, it begins a fracture in a community he believes hid the truth of what happened to his son. Glenn learns he didn’t know his son as well as he thought.

The heartwrenching ending for this book is brilliant, and I believe it captures the book well.

Glenn is looking for one last connection to his son. He finds it in writing the book but also in learning the truth about his son’s death.

It’s a magnificent ending, and as with all of Clay’s books, it will pull on your emotions.

I finished this book at work, and while it was a slow day behind the bar, I had to keep myself from crying.

We all think about how we’d handle the loss of our kids. Clay orchestrates a great story about loss, grief, and understanding that once our kids get older and have their own lives, we don’t know who they are.

We try to understand them as they grow older, and the best we can do is be there for them as they move through the world. Listening to them is essential.

I cried a lot…

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When I woke up I read the news. Somehow I knew it was going to be bad. I’m not sure how I knew, but it was there. I tossed and turned the night before. Sleep came in fits and I wondered how it could happen.

When my youngest asked, I told them what happened. They were afraid. Afraid for themselves, their friends, and I suppose their brother as well.

The world changed, or at least this country did. It wasn’t overnight. It’s always been here. But it hid in the darker places. Now it was in the open again. Now the hate had a purpose. Now the rage was higher. The bigotry and racism had a name. It was given purchase that we offered it like a ragdoll in a dollar store.

Hold them close. Keep them safe. Don’t let the darkness muddy their light.

The light is where we should be but the darkness is coming. It’s finding its way through to take the last of us. It’s in the dark we must come and hide. At least for a little while.

There’s going to be darkness for a while. It’s going to be as bad as we’ve been told. As bad as we’ve believed. Don’t let it darken their souls. Don’t allow it to change who they are. Protect them and keep them safe.

Today, is another day. Tomorrow is something else.

Good morning, Good Evening or Goodnight?

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I’m writing this as I put a self-imposed ban on social media. I have deactivated my IG, Threads, and TikTok to get my head right. I have contemplated quitting writing over the last month, but I sold a book recently, and my thriller, Disunion By Force, is selling well.

I needed time to get my head right. It’s been in a bad place, and while I like sharing my journey with my mental health, it appears that my family doesn’t like seeing me struggle. I haven’t posted my usual content. I have been writing reviews. I’ve enjoyed the distraction of writing reviews for the last year. I’ve read some fantastic books. I got most of them through NetGalley.

I am going to start submitting short stories again. I feel I’ve fallen off somehow, and short stories are a way for me to get my head back in writing. I have three books left to review for my NetGalley account. After I finish the books I have, I’ll be taking a break from doing reviews for a while.

I’ll be cleaning up 30-40 short stories for submission. Each is a horror story and fits into various subgenres.

I’m taking time for myself, which will exclude social media for a while.

I am playing World of Warcraft: The War Within with my wife. It’s a great expansion, and we’re both enjoying it. I’m currently reading Nobody’s Hero by M.W. Craven. It comes out in December and is one of the books I received on Netgalley.

I’m not really watching anything. I will be seeing Terrifier 3 in a couple of weeks. I saw Beetlejuice this past weekend for my youngest’s birthday. It was fun—not great, but fun. She really enjoyed it, and it was nice to spend time with my wife and kids.

My job at the bar has changed a bit. It was bought in July, and they’ve made some significant changes. The food is better, and the menu is more manageable. It’s a lot cleaner than before.

I work four shifts now. I only worked once every week before. It’s been slow as some of our regulars change as the bar changes. That’s fine. People change in every aspect of the life of a business.

I’m ready to get back to work on the page.

Review for “The Darkest Night, 22 Winter Horror Stories, edited by Lindy Ryan.”

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Holiday Horror is one of my favorite subgenres. Whether it’s Christmas, Easter, Halloween, or Valentine’s Day. I will search it out.

I found this one on NetGalley and requested it from the publisher. My wife tries to find me a collection around the holidays. This will be the one I get. I’ve read it, but there are great stories in this Anthology.

Let’s get started:

The Mouthless Body In The Lake by Gwendolyn Kiste

I remember visiting my aunt and uncle’s house for Thanksgiving as a kid. My father would stop in front of their house, tell us not to act up, and damn if there wouldn’t be repercussions if we did.

The opening of this story reminded me of those moments. I hated going to Thanksgiving dinner at their house. My parents fought all of the time. Seeing their idyllic house, my cousin’s parents getting along and not stepping outside to talk if my dad got mad for whatever reason hurt me. It wasn’t until I was older I learned my uncle was a great man. My father always told us otherwise.

This story hit home. For a long time, I didn’t feel I’d ever leave home. Then I met my wife.

Gwendolyn’s writing is excellent in this story, as in all her stories. The Haunting of Velkwood, which came out a few months ago, was also a good story.

This line stood out to me, and it encompasses the story so well, “Your whole life is an hourglass flipped over, and all you can do is watch the sand run out, grain by tiny grain.”

Cold As Ice by Tim Waggoner

Tim is one of the best at writing second-person POV. He discusses it at length in his Writing In The Dark books. Tim also writes about what depression feels like better than anyone. This story is that, in short form.

Imagine traveling in the snow. Your life feels empty. You’ve had a bad dating experience. You look out the window, and something is pacing your car.

You’re worried about it but trying to ignore it. The longer you drive, the more you notice the thing pacing you.

This story is like seeing depression and the way out of a life that you no longer want. You’re given an out. You take it. I loved this story.

Children Aren’t The Only Ones Who Know Where The Presents Are Hidden by Josh Malerman

Josh writes anxiety better than anyone. The feeling of your mind running rampant as you think about your childhood, all the times you’ve messed up, and how your parents used to be. All of the little things your mind does before you go to bed that’s what Josh does so well.

I don’t know if this book was the initial idea for Incidents Around The House, but there are bits and pieces throughout the story. I won’t talk about that book here; read my review of it instead.

Some people hate the Holidays for whatever reason. The character in this one is different from the others. I can’t say without giving it away. I don’t like to spoil stories. This one is better going in blind, as all stories should be. Blocked memories come back most disturbingly for the main character. She doesn’t understand it all until the end. But it left me thinking a lot.

The Vermin Moon by Hailey Piper

I will not hide my love of Hailey’s writing. She’s brilliant, and her Worm and His Kings books are some of my favorite stories.

This is not like that. This story is about grief. I thought of my own kind often while reading this story. Letting go of someone who has passed is hard. I think of my brother a lot. He passed in 2016. There’s not a day that I don’t think about him. Was there something I could have done? No, there wasn’t.

We have to let go. We must live our lives for ourselves as long as we are here. Grief and loss are terrible, and getting past them is hard.

The Body Of Leonora James by Stephanie M. Wytovich

Ghost stories are fascinating; this one is now one of my favorites. It doesn’t happen how you think it will and dances around a few things. The twist blew me away when it got to the story’s culmination. It’s a great ghost story. The imagery is spot-on.

Mr. Butler by Clay McLeod Chapman.

This story will haunt me forever. I don’t know where Clay pulls this freaky story from, but I am here for it.

This takes us back to our childhood, maybe a place we didn’t want to visit. It’s a dark and very messed-up story, and by the end, I was freaked out.

Feast Of Gray by Lindy Ryan And Christopher Brooks

A lot of these stories feel like the authors reflecting on their childhoods. It could be where my headspace is, but that’s how it feels. This one is like Hailey Pipers. It’s about grief, not wanting things to be over, and a fear of judgment in some ways.

I Hope This Finds You Well by Eric LaRocca

This is a different story than I was used to by Eric. Its darkness hides, and you must search for it. By the end, I realized I hadn’t read the story I had thought it was turning into. It was wholly different.

The Buried Child by M. Rickert

This one stands out from the others as it’s a different story. Is it less a ghost story and more of a confession? This one took a dark turn I wasn’t expecting and left me thinking about what I’d read. I went back and reread it. I missed things.

Father’s Last Christmas by Lee Murray

I immensely enjoyed this. It was so different from the other stories. I found myself paying attention to the details and following along with everything that happened. This felt like a break from the bleakness of Buried Child. A bit of fun, if you will.

I loved the fantasy setting of this one. By the end, I was enthralled and would love to see something more done with these characters.

The Warmth Of Snow By Cynthia Pelayo

Cynthia is one of my favorite writers. Seeing her get all of the attention or her writing warms the hell out of me.

This one took aspects of Shakespeare and moved them around. It’s one where if you’ve ever had a parent who ran your life. Didn’t let you do what you wanted and maybe forced you to be someone you didn’t want to be, so this is the story for you.

I forgot how hard it is to write a review for an anthology without spoiling these short stories.

Wintry Blue by Christopher Golden and Tim Lebbon

This felt like a cross between a horror story and an adventure/thriller. Both of these writers do those genres equally well. If you’ve ever driven in the snow and found yourself on the side of the road, this will bring back some memories. It will also make you want to never go on a date in the mountains with someone you barely know.

Carol Of The Hells by Kelsea Yu

This Anthology has so many stories about trauma around the holidays. It’s a deep dive into how we keep these things hidden. At least, it is for me. This one was no different.

Nice by Nat Cassidy

Where to start with this one?

I think the elf says it best: “Kid…What did you do?” This dark, twisted little story was fun. The poor little guy never knew what he unleashed.

Thaw by Rachel Harrison

If you write about a killer snowman, this is how to do it. I won’t understand the details, but Rachel nails it with this one. The setting is like a Hallmark movie, but the actions are pure horror.

Candy Cane By Thommy Hutson

The Misery vibes in this one, and the movie A Murder of Crows made me love this story. If you haven’t watched A Murder of Crows, I suggest it. It’s not Oscar-worthy, but I liked it.

I can’t say much else, but a writer in a cabin in the middle of winter is the vibe.

Eggnog by Kristi deMeester

I hate work parties. I did one while working in Las Vegas, but I don’t care for them. This story of a bit of revenge is a new favorite. If you didn’t know, Kristi sells candles on Etsy. We have a dozen of them. Maybe don’t get one that is eggnog?

Threads of Epiphany By Sara Tantlinger

One of my favorite things is the incorporation of fables into horror. Cynthia Pelayo does it well. This story takes a derivative of the Rumplestiltskin story and does other things with it. If I get that relationship wrong, I apologize to Sara. I’m not good at fairy tales and fables; my wife is.

I enjoyed this one.

The Ladies’ Society For The Dead by Darcy Coates

I haven’t read anything by Darcy, but I will have to dive in after this little story. It takes you to a place you won’t expect, and I can’t give it away. It will ruin the story if I do.

I am going to stop the review here. The other stories are fantastic; the whole anthology feels like the writers are leaving their trauma on the page.