I submitted a story two weeks ago which had a quick turnaround and I haven’t heard a response on it
My brain immediately goes, “it’s cause you’re shit.”
This little bastard of a voice comes and goes, but this week it has been at the forefront of my thoughts and screwing with me daily.
I find it’s hard to get past it and it almost sent me into a spiral of doubt, depression, and anxiety when I can’t afford to deal with any of those things.
There was a bright light in this tale though. Yesterday I finished a story for a submission due in February. It was in a genre I hadn’t worked in a for a while and I found myself enjoying the hell out of it and wondering what would happen with the characters after I’d finished the story.
This bright spot got me through the day and I finished with my head above board.
My mind hadn’t screwed with me this much in quite a while. I started to fall into the old feelings about writing. I had a nightmare because of the stress I was putting myself under.
That I didn’t hear a word made me go back, make sure I’d sent it to the correct email(I had), and wonder why.
I had to push these thoughts away; my mind will kill me if I let it.
Pushing off from these emotions, I felt refreshed. The new story pushed the reasons why I hadn’t heard back away. Isn’t that what new stories are supposed to do?
There are so many emotions in writing and I let self-doubt creep in when that bastard isn’t allowed.
I have stories to tell and I will wait for them for them to be read. I will continue writing because I can’t imagine myself doing anything else.
I love the work and I am intrigued by the characters that fall out of my head, but days where my head screws with me are not fun.
I’m glad I was able to dig my way out, much how I did yesterday with our recent snowfall.
Anyway, have a good weekend.