I fell down a rabbit hole recently.
It wasn’t too deep but it got me to thinking about darkness and how I deal with it, hell, how any of us deal with it.
Let’s start earlier.
Since I was a little kid I’ve always liked scary things. I was a vampire almost every Halloween as a kid. When I wasn’t, I was a werewolf.
As I grew up, I watched a lot of horror movies.
I saw Halloween when I was eight, Children of the Corn at about the same age.
Then my sister introduced me to Hellraiser.
Those movies are my go to for anyone who wants to understand me.
Watch the first three and you’ll understand me a bit better. Read Barker’s book, “The Hellbound Heart” and you’ll understand me more.
That erotic, bloody, torturous movie and it’s sequels helped me to find myself.
Now that I’m 43, I think about what type of horror drives me.
It’s visceral. Dark. Dirty.
Sometimes it makes me take a step back. That’s when I know I have something good.
When what I put on the page scares me. Then I have something good.
Pushing the boundaries is what we do. Especially horror writers.
I remember an interview with Stephen King about Pet Semetery. He said that’s one of the books he thought he went too far in.
But can you imagine that book changed? It would mess it up. That book scared the hell out me.
There are so many books where I thought a writer went too far but I can’t imagine the story without those scenes.
I strive to be a good horror writer because I love the dark. I’ve always loved it. Watching a horror movie gives me more joy than almost anything except my wife and kids, though the goods ones eclipse them too.
Reading horror is new to me.
Growing up, my father restricted me to certain types of books. I’ve mentioned this before.
But I would still pick up a copy of Fangoria at the bookstore.
I could watch horror movies when I was a kid, but the books were off limits.
In the last few years I’ve tried catching up on some of the classics. There are a lot of them and I’ve had to be picky.
But a good horror book or movie will always be my favorite. I’d rather watch or read those than anything else.
It makes sense for me to write that stuff.
I love it and it will always be what keeps me going.