Frustration, Fate, ​and Writing.

Okay, hear me out.

This is not a post about how sad I am about being unpublished, it’s more about the frustration of working the day job while worrying I could be writing, querying, editing, but because the day job pays the bills.

I’m aware of the one in a million chance of being the author who gets a contract that changes their lives.

The moments of wonder when I’m at my day job are not small.

I think about these things a lot more than I probably should as an unpublished writer.

Though, I’m certain there are others who think these things as well.

This past week is a perfect example.

I worked the day job, four days last week, which is more than I usually work, but it’s the time of year that allows it.

January through March is quiet as an event bartender. Its the nature of the gig.

Don’t get me wrong, I love bartending. I love the interaction with guests. I enjoy making cocktails and do it often for my wife.

There are moments I’ll have an interaction with a guest. I roll my eyes and think about the story I’m writing and what I have to do when I get home or the following morning.

After that moment has passed I look around and wonder, ‘Is that all I’m supposed to be doing with my life?’ I know it’s not. I’ve known that since I was a kid. Those thoughts persist, especially now that I’ve begun to query agents with finished novels.

I try to put them farther back. I find I work harder when they’re at the forefront of my thoughts.

The more focused I am on getting published the more I think about the possibilities for publication.

Each of us is meant for a certain path, I completely believe that. I didn’t use to.

Something happened that made me believe it. Fate has a path for each us that we’re destined to take.

We have choices to make, we’ll feel them when they arrive.

Those choices are tough.

Keep going no matter what games your mind plays you.


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